


royal court of nohr

by WattStalf



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Awkward First Times, F/M, Incest, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Multi, Polyamory, Tags to be added, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wedding Night, smut in later chapters, smut starts in chapter 5 apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 01:30:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 31,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: Corrin and Takumi are close from a young age, but as he grows, he finds his feelings for his sister are not what they should be. However, when Corrin is engaged to the high prince of Nohr to better relations, he finds that he can't hold back, and before her wedding, the two cross a line.Takumi is sent with her to Nohr, and even as she is married to Xander, the two struggle to stay away from one another. However, her new husband is kinder than expected, and she finds herself growing closer to him as well. Guilty on both fronts, Corrin isn't sure which man her heart belongs to, or if it's right for her to give it to either.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trust me, it's not just another love triangle fic, I swear, it's gonna be eventual OT3 cos I'm polyshipping trash  
> Anyway I've been sitting on this idea since June  
> Idk what kind of AU it is but it's an AU

The royal family of Hoshido has five children; Ryoma, the high prince, Princess Hinoka, Princess Corrin, Prince Takumi, and Princess Sakura. In Nohr, the royal family also has five children of similar ages, but the peace between the two nations is so strained that the Hoshidans know little about their Nohrian counterparts. But all five of them at least know that Prince Xander, the high prince, is going to ascend the throne someday, and even from a young age most of them understand how important it is that he has a better opinion of Hoshido than his father.

~X~

Takumi doesn't want to play with Sakura anymore. His little sister is too little, and nothing is as fun with her as it is with Corrin and Hinoka, and sometimes Ryoma, if he's lucky. But Hinoka likes to keep Corrin to herself, and only lets him play sometimes, when she's feeling gracious.

Today is not one of those days, and he chases her around while she drags Corrin behind her, protesting. “No babies allowed today, Takumi! Go play with Sakura!”

“But, but...big sister!” he whines, using his most intelligent comeback.

“No babies! Me and Corrin are playing by ourselves!”

“I wanna play too!” he cries, struggling to keep up with them. He can feel tears welling up, but he doesn't want to cry in front of him. By now, they've reached the age where he's been told not to cry so much, that big boys don't throw fits like that, that real men don't cry so he'd better stop now.

But he's frustrated and he's left out, and he can't help but cry, letting the tears spill over as he stops chasing the girls. Takumi just stands there and bawls, and doesn't care if Hinoka calls him a baby for it, or if Ryoma happens to see and tells him to grow up. He doesn't care, letting his head fall back and his eyes fall shut, wailing louder and louder, until the only thing that can silence him is the hand that lands on his head, gently patting him.

When he opens his eyes, a cry falling silent midway through, he sees Corrin smiling at him while she rubs the top of his head. “Don't cry, Takumi!” she says. “Don't cry! I'll play with you, I promise! Whatever game you want!”

He sniffs once, and then wipes his eyes, so overjoyed that his tears are nearly forgotten. Behind Corrin, Hinoka pouts but says nothing, and Corrin grabs Takumi’s hand, tugging him along to play with them. He's starting to notice that he's always happiest when Corrin is around.

~X~

When they're little, Corrin spoils him. She isn't much older than him, but to him, his big sister is the person he counts on most in the world. The siblings all grow up, changing in their own ways, but Takumi always sees Corrin in this light. Ryoma spends less time with them as he prepares himself for his royal duties, and Hinoka loses interest in playing in favor of training for combat. Some say this behavior doesn't befit a princess, but the royal family of Hoshido decides to pride themselves on having a strong princess like her.

Corrin is less interested in fighting but trains herself regardless, for self-defense and to remain close to her sister, and Takumi is expected to be a fighter, so he takes up a bow and arrow, and the three of them practice their different styles. They grow up more and more, until they can hardly be called children anymore, but Corrin is always the person that he can count on most in the world.

~X~

Except more things change than he understands, and Takumi reaches a certain age and suddenly women are more than just the other half of the population to him. He notices those like Orochi, always by his mother and carrying herself with confidence and with something else, something he's never seen in either of his sisters, and his notices his brother’s female retainer, who doesn't do anything to call attention to herself but who catches his eye all the same. There are the women in the court, and noble visitors, and Takumi finds himself noticing all sorts of things he never noticed before.

But somehow, the one he notices most of all is Corrin, and if he catches himself thinking about any one girl for too long, he finds himself drawing comparisons, and in his mind, Corrin is always better. He doesn't know what's wrong with him.

His older sister is nothing more; she's his older sister, and he never thinks of Hinoka like this, nor do his thoughts ever linger on his younger sister. It is only Corrin, just as it has always only been Corrin, but Takumi is only just now realizing that there is something wrong with the way he feels about his sister. He is only just now realizing that he might not love her like a sister at all.

~X~

He tries to pretend his feelings do not exist, and he tries to pretend that there is nothing but pure, familial love between him and Corrin, but then he stays up late at night, her smile, her laugh, her face, her body on his mind, and his hand…

There is no pretending; he knows that there's something horribly wrong with him, and he hates himself for it. He knows that this is wrong, and he knows that he can't be around her as he is. Sometimes, there's nothing he can do about it, because they do live together, but he does what he can to distance himself from her, and if Corrin looks more sad as time goes on, he pretends not to notice. This is for the best, for both of them, until he can learn to destroy these feelings, until he can grow out of them, until he can trust himself with his sister again.

There are more important things to worry about, anyway. He has to study and train hard if he wants to keep up with his older brother, and he has to do what he can to make himself into a fine young man, into a prince that his people can be proud of. That is more important than Corrin, than his feelings for her, he decides.

~X~

An assassin slips past their guard, and no one ever figures out how or why or who, but their father is murdered, forcing Ryoma to ascend the throne a bit prematurely. Suspicions are aimed almost entirely at Nohr, but Ryoma does not want to instigate a war without evidence, and there is none. He is criticized for it by many, but he does nothing.

The family is thrown into grief, and when he sees Corrin sobbing, looking so alone and broken, Takumi can't help himself. He pats her on the head and he tells her not to cry, and when she pulls him into a tight hug, he returns it. His feelings and his guilt are far from his mind, and all he cares about is making her feel better. For a brief time, they're close again, like before, but he cuts that off before it becomes too severe, distancing himself from her once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another shitty chapter in which i pretend to know what im doing????

Corrin spends more time with her mother when Takumi begins to be distant with her again. After the death of their father, she’d hoped that things were going back to the way they were before, but already, her brother has detached himself again, and she can't help but feel hurt by it.

“I don't want to bother you with this,” she says to her mother one day, after talking about the situation.

“I don't mind,” she replies. “Truth be told, I’d rather talk about you and your siblings. It's a good distraction, and it reminds me…”

“Reminds you of what?”

“That life goes on for everyone.”

Even so, Corrin feels guilty. They're all still grieving, even now, but she knows it must be hard on her mother. But if she insists, then Corrin can't refuse her. “I just don't know what happened. You know how we were when we were younger. Takumi was one of my best friends, but now we’re practically strangers.”

“Takumi keeps himself very busy. He has a lot to live up to, where his father and his brother are concerned, or at least I'm sure that's what he's thinking. It wouldn't surprise me if he were distancing himself from everyone, just to focus on bettering himself.”

“He's fine the way he is!”

“Does he know you think that?”

“Wouldn't it be odd for me to just run up and tell him that?”

Her mother laughs. “Maybe it would be. But if you want to be close to him again, maybe finding a way to ease his worries could help.”

“I just thought...I thought things might be going back to the way they were,” she says. “For a little while there, we were together all the time again, but…”

“If you had it back even for a little bit, that means there's hope. It's not completely dead. Takumi is your brother, and nothing can change that. The two of you share a special bond, don't forget that.”

“Thank you, I...I'll try my best.”

~X~

She doesn't know why she cares so much, if she's being completely honest with herself. It's natural for siblings to grow apart, or at least that's what she's heard. Even she and Hinoka aren't as close as they once were, and that doesn't bother her nearly as much as Takumi’s distance does. She doesn't know why it matters so much, but she misses how close they were, and she would give do anything to have him back to the way he was before.

However, it’s hard for her to follow her mother’s advice when Takumi won’t give her the chance to let him know that she appreciates him or thinks that he’s doing a good job. She tries to join him when he practices archery, but he refuses to train her whenever she asks, saying that he’s not nearly good enough to take on a student, and that he won’t get better if she doesn’t let him be. When she just watches him, he seems stiff, and misses targets that she thinks look easy (though she’s no expert, by any means).

“You’re throwing me off,” he snaps one day. “I don’t do well with you watching me.”

“I used to-”

“It’s different now.”

“But how are you going to improve if you can’t do your best with other people around?” She doesn’t intend the question to be rude, but as soon as she says it, she wonders if it won’t just make things worse. “I-I mean, I think you’re plenty good already!”

“Corrin, I get that you want to spend time with me, I do. But I’m busy, and you could probably be spending you time doing something more important, rather than wasting it here.”

“It’s not a waste! Takumi, I miss you. We used to…” She sighs. “We used to be different. Why can’t it be like that anymore?”

“I just grew up,” he replies. “There’s nothing you can do about it, so just don’t worry about it. I grew up, and I have things to do. Maybe you should worry more about yourself, and stop following me around.”

He speaks to her so coldly that she gives up. Regardless of what their mother said, she knows that there’s no hope. Whatever closeness they had as children is gone, and Takumi is like a different person now.

~X~

They don’t spend any time alone together after that argument, and even when the whole family is together, Corrin can tell that things are tense. Takumi won’t even look at her most of the time, and she feels guilty trying to look at him, so she keeps her distance. On one such occasion, when they’re all called together by Ryoma, she doesn’t even bother.

“You all know that recently, the king of Nohr passed away and Prince Xander will soon be coronated,” says Ryoma. He’s only recently returned from a trip to their neighboring nation, at the invitation of the future king. “We’ve spoken about improving relations, and even about an alliance. Things could be better between Nohr and Hoshido than they have been generations.”

“Seems he’s more rational than his father,” says Takumi.

“There’s something he and I discussed in terms of strengthening that bond. In Nohr, it’s a bit more customary for the king to have a queen upon coronation. Obviously, it isn’t something that will lose him his throne, but he thinks the people will feel more comfortable accepting him if he has a bride.”

“So what does that have to do with us?” asks Hinoka.

“If at all possible, he’s interested in taking a Hoshidan princess as his bride.”

There is a long silence as the others slowly realize what that means. Corrin searches each of her siblings’ faces, trying to figure out what they’re thinking; Sakura’s eyes are so wide that she looks terrified, while Hinoka merely looks angry. Takumi is unreadable, and Ryoma seems apologetic, his head slightly bowed. Corrin doesn’t know how to describe what she feels.

“And you’re just going to give one of us to him?” her older sister asks.

“It wouldn’t be like that. He’s going to come meet you all, and you’ll have a chance to get to know him, so that-”

“So that he can take his pick!”

“So that he can see if he gets along well enough if any of you. And if he does, he’ll propose, and you’re royalty just as much as he is, so you have every right to refuse him. I’ve already told him that that’s a possibility, and that I won’t discourage you from it,” says Ryoma. “But I have to ask that you seriously consider the future of both countries when making a decision. I won’t make any of you choose something that you don’t want to choose, but just...try to think about every factor.”

“I won’t marry a complete stranger. And you can’t ask Corrin or Sakura to do that either!”

“B-big sister, if it’s for the good of everyone, I could…” Sakura trails off, sounding unsure even as she says it.

“I only ask that you think about it,” is all Ryoma says. He’s never been easy for Corrin to read, but even she can tell that he feels guilty for even asking this of them.

He leaves them alone to think about it, and Takumi follows shortly after. He never shared his thoughts, but Corrin supposes he’d probably just say it doesn’t concern him. She doesn’t know why she cares, but it makes her sad knowing that he wouldn’t care if she were to get engaged to this strange prince.

There is no guarantee that he will like any of them, and she doesn’t think she’s anything special. Hinoka may not be interested, but she’s strong and she’s beautiful, and Sakura is soft-spoken and cute, both with nearly opposite merits that Corrin is sure makes them both appealing wives. But she isn’t sure what she has to offer, and she wonders if Takumi was right. Maybe if she spent more time thinking about herself, she would know what her positive attributes were.

Soon, she’ll have her first meeting with Prince Xander, and she isn’t sure if she’ll be able to impress him, or if she even wants to. If he proposes to her, she already knows that she won’t refuse, because she knows it’ll be for the best, but to marry a stranger and be sent away to Nohr...perhaps it’s for the best that she isn’t anywhere near as appealing as her two sisters, she thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's garbage chapter three????when will the porn happen nobod y knows

Ryoma does what he can to prepare them for Xander’s visit, giving them things to read, regarding Nohrian culture and politics, but no matter how much Corrin reads, she isn’t sure if any of it is actually sinking it. It’s all a lot of information, and even if she’s able to memorize it, she doesn’t know if it’s going to help her conversations with the prince at all. She’s at a complete loss.

Their mother is surprisingly quiet when it comes to her opinion of the potential arranged marriage, only offering comfort and advice, always saying that they should trust their brother. Hinoka’s never satisfied with that answer, and Sakura keeps to herself like always. Corrin, despite her nerves, agrees to trust Ryoma, and Takumi is as hard to reach as ever.

Even so, Corrin wishes that she could talk to him, that she could rely on someone right now. Talking to Hinoka just leads to her older sister getting even more angry about the situation, and she already knows what her mother and what Ryoma will say. She decides to talk to sakura on day, just to see what her more reserved sister is thinking.

“If you’re worried about anything, you can tell me. We all have our worries.”

“I wouldn’t want to burden you, especially when you’re worried about the same thing…”

“It’s not a burden. I want to be able to support you.”

“I-I’ll do my best to support you too…”

“You must be nervous about meeting the prince, right?” she asks.

Sakura nods. “I wouldn’t know what to talk about with him. I-I’m afraid that he won’t like me, and that I’ll fail, but...I’m also afraid of what will happen if he does like me.”

“Even if he doesn’t want to marry you, you aren’t failing at anything, and you can turn him down even if he does. There’s always Hinoka, or me.”

“But I don’t want either of you to have to go!” Sakura says earnestly. “I don’t have much I can do, but if I could at least do this much, then...then the two of you wouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

The fact is that this is exactly how Corrin feels about her own situation; she doesn’t feel like she can do much that is useful, but if she can be the one to marry Xander, and make Ryoma’s life easier and spare her sisters, she thinks that might be enough. She feels bad hearing that Sakura’s thinking the exact same thing, and decides then and there that she’ll memorize every bit of Nohrian history that she can, and do whatever she can to learn about impressing men, so that Xander might find her at least a little bit appealing.

“You don’t have to worry so much about us,” is all that she’s able to say, and she doesn’t think she has done much to ease her little sister’s mind.

~X~

The big day comes all too soon, and Corrin isn’t sure if she’s prepared herself accordingly or not. She’s nervous- terrified, really- and quietly recites important things to herself whenever she thinks no one can hear her, hoping that it doesn’t all go out the window the first time Prince Xander looks at her. They’ve seen his portrait, and she knows that he’s a very handsome man with an imposing look to him. If she thinks about it, she supposes Ryoma is similar, but to her, he’s always been her older brother, so this will be her first time dealing with someone who looks like this.

She and the rest of her siblings, Takumi included, are lined up to greet him, and a great fuss is made as Nohrians enter their palace for the first time in years. At first, she can’t even see Xander amongst his group, but then he is formally introduced to them, and she and her siblings bow just as they were told to. She expects him to want to get right to it, but hours pass as Xander is shown around and spends time talking to Ryoma privately, and it is quite some time before Hinoka is called away to meet with him.

The meeting between the two of them seems to take forever, but it’s honestly very brief. Corrin knows it’s just her nerves making her feel this way, and when she’s called in to meet Xander, she’s terrified that she might get sick.

“Princess Corrin, it’s a delight to meet you,” he says with a warm smile that seems out of place on the imposing man she knows from the portraits.

Bowing before him for the second time, she says, “The pleasure is all mine, Prince Xander.”

“I apologize for troubling your family so much. I know this must have come as quite a shock to you and your sisters.”

“Not at all,” she lies. “Nohr and Hoshido have needed a strong alliance. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help make sure that happens.”

“Then King Ryoma is all the luckier to have a sister like you. I know this must be hard for him as well, and I promise you that I mean what I say. If any of the three of you were to refuse me, it wouldn’t change anything. I only think that having a Hoshidan bride might help warm the hearts of my own kingdom, and make this alliance more widely accepted.”

“I understand perfectly.”

“Has anyone ever told you how dutiful you are?” He shakes his head and smiles. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me about yourself? Or anything you’d like to know about me?”

This is one thing she hasn’t prepared for. Despite trying to find tips on what to say to a man, she hasn’t had much success, and she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say about herself, or what she’s supposed to ask him. All she has are her facts about Nohr, and so she says, “Can you tell me how you feel about the sometimes controversial decisions made by the second king of Nohr?”

“And how I feel it has affected Nohrian politics today?” He raises a brow. “You got that out of a book, didn’t you?”

“I…”

“You must have prepared for this,” he says. “That’s very admirable, but you don’t have to be able to quote history books to me. I’m much more interested in learning about you.”

“I’m not very interesting,” she confesses.

“I’m sure that’s not true. Do you enjoy reading? I mean, besides for political purposes.”

“I do.”

“See, that’s something. Princess Corrin, I’m interested in getting to know you better. Can I ask you something about this?”

“Of course,” she replies.

“Is there a reason you’re working so hard at this? Other than an interest in a strong alliance. And please be honest,” he says. “I want to know simply because I’m curious, I won’t be upset even if it’s not an answer I wouldn’t like.”

“I...want to help my family,” Corrin says, looking up at him with sincerity. “I want Ryoma to have an easier time, and I don’t...I don’t want Hinoka or Sakura to have to marry someone they don’t know. If anyone can do it, I think it should be me.”

“You’ll be marrying someone you don’t know, in that case.”

“Yes, but I’d rather it be me. It’s for the greater good of both Nohr and Hoshido, so I know one of us should do it, and I want to make things easier for them, as well. I want...everyone to be happy.”

“You have four siblings who must love you very much. Won’t you be sad to leave them?”

She feels a pang when she thinks of Takumi, but she tries not to let that show. He doesn’t need to know about their complicated relationship, or the fact that she doesn’t think Takumi will miss her at all. “I wouldn’t let something like that influence my decision. This is what’s best for all of them, and I would do my best to be happy in Nohr anyway. They would never have to worry about me.”

“I see…” Xander pauses for a moment. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you before. I would love to talk to you more, but I’ve spent a while with you already, and I’ve kept your younger sister waiting.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Prince Xander.”

“Thank you for such interesting conversation, Princess Corrin.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i sure do love cliche cliffhangers

“I’m going to propose to you in front of your family tomorrow,” says Xander. “At least, that’s the plan right now. I wanted to tell you now, to give you the chance to refuse without as much pressure on you. If you don’t want to marry me, for any reason, if anything has changed since we’ve met, I want you to tell me now.”

It’s been three days, and Xander has taken additional time with Corrin and both of her sisters. She doesn’t know what he’s been talking about with them, but with her, he’s wanted to know the things she’s studied in preparation, letting her in on sides to the stories that don’t typically make it into the books. He always says he wants to get to know her better, but she doesn’t think there’s much worth learning.

And now he’s telling her that he wants to marry her.

“Do you...are you really sure? You want to choose me?“ she asks.

“I’m serious.”

“But why?”

“Because you’re sincere. Because you act as though you’re not sure about anything, but you’re more sure about this than either of your sisters. You’re dedicated to your family and loyal to your country, so much so that you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for them,” he says. “And, if I’m allowed to be more bold, you’re beautiful and I think you’re interesting. We don’t know each other well yet, but if I had to choose someone to continue to get to know, I wouldn’t hesitate to choose you.”

“I still don’t understand why…”

“I’ve explained it as clearly as I can. Now, Princess Corrin, what’s your answer? Should I bother asking officially?”

“I told you before. I want to be the one to do this. If you propose to me, you know I’m going to accept,” she replies.

Xander smiles and says, “I just wanted to make sure nothing changed. If you’ll excuse me, I think I should speak with King Ryoma privately now.”

~X~

She doesn’t mean to watch Takumi’s face as Xander proposes to her; she doesn’t mean to look anywhere but at her soon-to-be-husband, but she does, unsure of what she’s even looking for. Whatever it is, she doesn’t find anything, as he watches with the same stiff expression she’s grown too used to. She doesn’t search the faces of her sisters, or of her mother, and instead turns her attention back to Xander.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?”

“I’m the one who’s honored,” she replies. “Of course.”

“I hope the two of you will be very happy together,” says Ryoma. “Prince Xander, I hope you will take good care of my little sister, and Corrin...I hope that you find a happy home in Nohr.”

“I’ll have to return home to begin preparations for the wedding,” says Xander. “I’ll be sending some people to help you get ready as well, and when the time comes, I’ll come back for you myself. It’s been a delight meeting you, Princess.”

~X~

_ I’m really getting married _ , she thinks, when she’s alone. It takes her quite some time to be able to be alone even after Xander leaves, and it takes her too long to convince Hinoka that she’s fine, that this is her own choice. She’s so busy convincing her sister that everything is fine, and making sure that Sakura is feeling okay, and wondering what Takumi thinks, and she’s been so busy up to this point trying to win Xander over, that she hasn’t thought about herself.

She hasn’t thought about what comes now.

Now, she’s won him over, and now, they’re going to be married, but even as she thinks about it, it doesn’t seem real. She’s lived here, in Hoshido, with her brothers and sisters, for her entire life, and now that’s all going to change. It’s hard to imagine it, and even though she’s been so determined to ensure that this happens, she can’t help having some regrets, and she can’t help but continue to think of Takumi even now.

By now, she knows that he doesn’t care about her in the slightest, that whatever bond they shared as children is dead, but...but she doesn’t want to just  _ leave _ him, and leave everything the way it is now. They were close once, and she can’t forget that.

It’s been years since she’s gone to visit Takumi because she can’t sleep, but she doesn’t care how late it is. She’s been allowing the distance between them to grow for too long, and she knocks softly on his door. If he isn’t still awake, she doesn’t know what she’ll do, and it’s as she contemplates going in anyway that the door swings open.

There’s a pause as he stares at her before he says, “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“It’s late. I’m trying to sleep, and you should be too,” he snaps, making to close the door.

“You seem pretty awake to me,” she replies. “Just for a little bit?”

He sighs and says, “Corrin, I don’t know what you’re here for, but, like I said, it’s  _ late _ . I really don’t have time for this.”

“I need to talk to you. Please, Takumi.” She expects him to slam the door in her face at that, but instead, he actually opens it all the way and steps back, allowing her to come in. She doesn’t sit down, afraid to act too familiar with him, but just being allowed into his room is a nice change of pace.

“Well? What did you want?” he asks impatiently.

“You were there today. You know what’s happening,” she replies. “Ever since Ryoma first told us that Prince Xander was coming...I wanted to know your thoughts.”

“It hardly concerns me.”

“But it does! We’re your sisters... _ I’m _ your sister! And now I’m getting married, and I’m going to be...gods, I’m going to be a Nohrian queen now.” It’s the first time she’s said that to even herself. “Everything is changing, and we won’t see each other often, and you don’t...you don’t seem to care about that at all!”

“It doesn’t concern me,” he repeats, not meeting her eye.

“Why don’t you care about me anymore?”

“Why can’t you just grow up?”

“Because this has nothing to do with growing up! I never stopped being your sister, so...so why?”

“That’s the problem!”

“I don’t understand,” she says. “I really don’t understand anything you’re talking about, and I wish you would just explain it to me, instead of pushing me away and telling me it doesn’t matter.”

“There’s...nothing to explain. Things just changed. That’s all.”

“Do you even care that I’m getting married?” she asks. “Just answer that. Do you even care that I’m going away and marrying Prince Xander?”

“It’s better this way.”

Tears well up in her eyes and she says, “Is that really how it is? You really do hate me…”

“I don’t hate you, you just don’t understand what I...you couldn’t understand!”

“I keep asking you to just tell me, Takumi!” she cries. “I don’t care what it is, I just want to know why you hate me so much.”

“I already told you, I don’t...I don’t hate you! Stop saying that, please…”

“If you don’t hate me, then why?”

Takumi grabs her by the shoulders and says, “I’m in love with you, okay? So that’s why it’s better for you to go away and marry somebody else, because I’m messed up and have feelings for my sister, and I don’t need to be around you, and-”

There isn’t much distance to close between them for Corrin to press her lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a true classic


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes awkward sex scene  
> sorry but they're lame virgins what did you expect

Takumi doesn’t hesitate for long before he returns her kiss, his years of caution crumbling around him at the sudden display of affection. He’s known better for too long and yet, when faced with this much temptation, he’s absolutely helpless before the sister he loves. It’s the first time he’s ever kissed anyone, so he’s lost, but with Corrin there, he doesn’t  _ feel _ lost.

He knows that she’s no more experienced than he is, but he remembers her then as his older sister and he trusts her to guide him through this. That is, until they pull apart and the weight of what they’ve just done comes crashing down around him. In one brief lapse of judgment, he confessed everything to her after working so hard to keep it hidden, and she…

“Takumi, I…”

“You need to go. Now,” he says weakly, not trusting himself. The only hope they have now is pretending as if none of this happened, and soon she’ll be moving away, and he won’t have to face her again, and everything will be fine. It has to be fine.

“You’re not really going to send me away now, are you? We need to...I don’t…”

“Why did you do that?” he snaps. “You shouldn’t have done that! I was doing just fine, and then you- you-!”

“I don’t know why I did it,” she says, looking down. “I don’t know...I don’t know why I feel like this. Takumi, how long have you…?”

“How long do you think?” he asks. “There’s a reason I’ve been keeping away from you, even if it’s killed me to do it. It’s  _ wrong _ , all of this is. Don’t even...don’t even  _ try _ telling me you feel the same or something, cos we could never do something like that!”

“I don’t know! I don’t know what I’m doing, I feel like I don’t know anything right now. The only thing I do know is that I want…” She trails off, her face going red, and he wonders what she’s thinking, what she’s been thinking this whole time. Has she had feelings for him all along, or is this just coming to the surface? Does she even have feelings for him at all, or is it all in the heat of the moment?

What does she think of him, and what does she want to do with him, right now? Does he have any hope of resisting her?

Corrin kisses him again, this time more hesitantly, and he has all the room in the world to resist and push her away, and still he doesn’t. Still, he allows her to kiss him, until he’s kissing her hard and shoving her against the door behind her, holding her against it with no intention of letting her go any time soon. This is, he knows, his moment of downfall, but he’s wanted her for so long, and the closer he gets, the harder it becomes to talk sense back into himself.

She presses her body against his, and he knows that he won’t make it out of this. He  definitely can’t resist her now, and he bites at her lip almost possessively. Or maybe entirely possessively, and he can’t stop thinking about the fact that another man is going to come to claim her, but that he has her first kiss, that if he takes this all the way, he’ll have her first everything. Corrin is never meant to be his, but if he takes her now, he’ll always have a part of her.

Takumi isn’t thinking rationally at this point, but he can’t bring himself to care. Xander is going to take her away from him. Before he loses her forever, he has to...he has to…

Her nightclothes come off quickly, and she helps him, rather than resisting. Too many nights have been spent imagining her like this, but no fantasy comes even remotely close to the real thing. His hands shake as he undresses himself, and neither of them speak, and he wonders if she is just as afraid to shatter this moment as he is. If only he knew what he were doing, or if only she were really able to guide him through it, but they’re stuck figuring this out together.

He shoves his hand between her legs, rubbing her until he earns a few whimpers, and then he hesitantly tries to fit a finger inside of her She winces and grows tense, but takes a few steadying breaths before nodding, urging him on. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but he doesn’t know how to do this without hurting her, and his second finger takes even more work.

“I’m gonna…” He finally speaks, but even now he can’t really find words. “Should I…”

“Yes,” Corrin says softly, and he pushes her against the door again, letting her hook her legs around him as he presses himself up against her. There’s no going back from this, and for just a moment, he reconsiders, wondering if he should wait for his senses to return, but he can feel her warmth so clearly now, and he can’t hope to hold back. Mistake or not, he’s going through with this.

He’s too lost in immediate pleasure to notice the look of pain on her face at first, and for a moment, he's blinded, crying out pathetically. But her own cry snaps him out of it enough to remember that this is as much her first time as his, that she's tight even after preparation. If only he knew how to go easier on her; if only it weren't agonizing to try to hold still now that he's buried within her.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, knowing that it probably doesn’t mean much.

“It’s...fine,” she says, barely able to speak. “Just...go slow, okay?”

“Yeah...yeah, I can…” It takes more effort to try to maintain his self-control than anything else they’ve done tonight, which he supposes he should consider ironic, given the self-control he had up  _ until _ tonight. Corrin clings to him, digging her nails into his back and burying her face against his shoulder, likely so he can’t see if she’s still in pain or not.

And so, he goes on, giving a few hesitant thrusts, and when she doesn’t make any more distressing sounds, he gets into it, finding a rhythm that he hopes is as good for her as it is for him. Soon enough, he’s lost again, his pleasure driving him on as he fucks her, and he bites his lip to keep from crying out again.

It’s good, it’s so good, it’s everything he’s wanted and tried so damn hard to hold back from, and it’s  _ Corrin _ , right in front of him, in his arm, it’s Corrin that he’s buried inside, and he loves her, he loves her so  _ much _ and he doesn’t care that he shouldn’t anymore. He doesn’t want to lose her, he wants this to be the way he lays claim to her, and he comes suddenly and sharply as he imagines such a life. It’s only been a few minutes since they even began, and it only took him a few minutes to cross that line, to go somewhere he can never come back from.

And no amount of overwhelming pleasure can blind him from that fact now, as it lingers and then fades, with Corrin still clinging to him. He feels guilty for a split second, knowing that that couldn’t have been very good for her, but that is dwarfed by a much greater guilt. They’ve done it now, and there’s no going back; he’s told her and she’s kissed him and he’s fucked her, and Xander is still taking her away from him either way, so what good was crossing such a line anyway?

Takumi has failed Corrin and he’s failed his family, and above all, he’s failed himself, but she won’t let go of him even now. He lets her stay in his room tonight, and stays awake so that she can sneak back to her own early in the morning. They don’t speak of what happens, but he suspects that this isn’t the end of it, not just yet. He knows he shouldn’t feel so happy amidst all his guilt, but he does.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awkward masturbation chapter  
> also they attempt to talk about feelings but lmao

Corrin is in love with her little brother. The realization hits her hard, though it hits her after the fact. She’s too caught up in the moment when she kisses him and when she allows him to have his way with her, and she falls asleep in his room without a second thought. Early in the morning, he rushes her back to her own, saying nothing else to her and leaving her by herself, to think about what’s happened.

Corrin is in love with her little brother, and she’s hidden that fact from even herself for years now. She always wanted to stay close to him, and it hurt her so much when he pulled away from her, and she realizes now just how often her thoughts lingered with him. It was always something like an obsession, but it was so easy to pretend that she just missed their closeness, that she only loved him as a brother.

Now, she can’t pretend anymore. Nobody made her kiss him in that moment, and if she had pushed him away even after, he wouldn’t have pushed things, she doesn’t think. Everything that happened between them happened because she wanted it to, and there’s no hiding from that fact now. She loves her brother, and she wants to feel more guilty about it, but all she can think about is how happy she is, knowing that he loves her as well.

It’s wrong, whatever is between them, and she’s going to be married to another man soon. She knows this, she knows all of this, and she knows that she’s given herself to her brother before her wedding and that if Xander were to find out…well, she doesn’t know  _ exactly _ what would happen to her, but she knows enough to guess. Corrin feels like she knows a lot about the situation, but that doesn’t change her feelings, and so she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.

Sex with Takumi was...strange, and that’s the only word she can think of to describe it. It was unpleasant at first, because she wasn’t sure if she was ready, and it hurt her. Everything about it was strange to her, but she knew enough to try to relax and to ask him to go slowly. It was unpleasant at first, but she almost got into it before he finished, though she was far too shy to ask him if he could do anything else after that point.

She’s isn’t a complete  _ stranger _ to the idea, but her knowledge is vague and sporadic, and she’s never considered her own desires before. While she’s still alone, thinking about Takumi and what’s transpired, she tries to imagine what might feel better, and what she’d like. She lays back and closes her eyes and imagines her brother while her own hand drifts between her legs, but she’s still learning what motions feel best and where to touch, and she’s still sore from the night before, so she has to be careful.

It’s a long process, and she often stops, not sure when she’s supposed to or how to know when it’s over. But she keeps trying just long enough, and even though she didn’t know what to expect, when she’s left breathless and hot and feels some sort of pulsing that she can’t hope to describe, and when she recovers from that, she supposes that  _ that _ must be the end.

~X~

The only problem with her new discovery is that she isn’t sure how to translate it into activity with another person. She could show Takumi what she did, but it took so long while she did it by herself and it seems incredibly one-sided. The rest of the day passes in a blur, as she thinks about him and about what they did and about what they could do, and she doesn’t really register the fact that she hasn’t talked much with anyone until later.

Takumi is understandable. She isn’t naive enough to think that he will treat her differently in front of the others now, and she expects him to give her the cold shoulder, like always. But her sisters seem to be giving her space as well, and, because she doesn’t go out of her way to talk with either of them, she doesn’t think about that fact until later.

She’s been so caught up thinking about Takumi that she’s been blind to everything else, and when the day is over, she thinks about her sisters and about her older brother, and about their mother. All day, she’s been in a daze, and the only consequences she’s considered are those involving Xander. What about her family? How was she able to walk about all day and face them without wondering what they would think of her if they knew the truth?

Finally, guilt really begins to set in for her. There is so much more to this than the feelings that she and Takumi share, and she sees why he pulled himself away from her so much, treating her coldly not because he hated her, but because of his own guilt. By pursuing things, she’s only made it worse for him, and if they’re found out, she will not be the only one to face consequences.

It really is for the best that she’ll be going to Nohr, marrying Xander, and keeping her distance from her younger brother. That’s what she tells herself, and she’s proud of herself, for getting it all out of her system in a day.

But then she goes to his room, and neither of them speak a word, and he pulls her into his arms, and she spends the night with him once again.

~X~

“You need to go back to your room now,” he says after waking her up the next morning. He won’t look directly at her.

“Takumi, don’t you think we should…”

“I don’t think we should do anything,” he replies. “You shouldn’t...you shouldn’t have come back here.”

“You let me in.”

“And you should know that I’m too weak! So you need to stay away, before I make things worse.” He tries to give her a tough look, and for a moment, she almost laughs because it reminds her of when they were younger, when he was close to tears and pouting.

“You don’t have to tell me that what we’re doing is wrong,” she says. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t come back for this, but I still did. I know that it’s wrong for us, and that we  _ shouldn’t _ ...but you told me you loved me. Takumi, I...I love you too, and not as a sister. I’m going to be married soon, and I’ll have to...be with him, and I’ll never get to be with you.”

Immediately, his stern expression crumbles and his eyes soften. “I told you, I’m weak...you can’t just say something like that.”

“It’s the truth. We don’t have a lot of time left, but maybe…” She trails off, and before she can finish her sentence, Takumi has pulled her into his arms.

“I’m not ready to lose you just yet,” he says. “I’m going to...hold onto you until then. Can we make the most of what time we have?”

It’s not the right thing to do, and both of them know it. It’s nowhere near as simple as they’re pretending it is, and both of them know it, but when they’re together, she can’t bring herself to be rational, and he is every bit as weak as he says he is. When they’re together, they feel like they can make things work out somehow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more filler as i try to kind of figure out what i might be doing with this fuckshow sorry

“And just what do you think you’re going to learn, asking an unmarried woman a question like that?” Orochi teases.

Corrin feels her face going even redder as she stammers, “I-I don’t know, I’d just hoped…”

It took a lot of nerve for her to finally approach Orochi with her questions, and she can’t really say  _ why _ she chose her, other than the fact that she’s not one of her sisters, or her mother. She’s always been close to their family, and perhaps it’s something to do with her playful nature, or perhaps it’s something else, but all Corrin knows is that she greatly regrets going to her now, and she’s absolutely overwhelmed with humiliation.

“I get what this is about,” she says. “You’re worried about your wedding, aren’t you?”

“Yes! That!” That’s always been what she’s planned to say, but she’s really only looking for advice to make things better when she’s with Takumi. Of course, whatever she learns now will likely be helpful with Xander as well, but she’s trying her best not to think about that right now.

“Well, like I said, I don’t know that I have the kind of experience I need to guide you, but it’s only natural to be curious!” She winks and Corrin could die, she really could. “There are a few things that could help you, though…”

Steeling herself and reminding herself that this is important, she says, “What is there?”

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t come across enough resources on your own, given how much you love to read! But, if you need help finding the right dirty books, then Orochi is on the case!”

There’s honestly nothing in the world more embarrassing than this, but Corrin hopes that it at least proves to be worth it- and that Orochi doesn’t go running to her mother with a funny story! She hasn’t told Takumi that she’s doing this, and he hasn’t asked her to do anything like this, but as long as they’re continuing their affair, she wants thinks to be better for the both of them, as good as they can be.

They don’t have much longer alone together, and soon their affair is going to have to come to an end. She supposes it would be better to end things now, rather than getting used to it, but she wants to make the most of what time they have. Even now, it’s hard to imagine what it will be like without Takumi by her side every night.

~X~

“Can I talk to you?”

Corrin is honestly relieved to hear Hinoka ask her that. Her family has continued to give her space since Xander’s proposal, and she’s wondered if this is how it’s going to be from now on. It’s been strange, having Takumi be the only one she can talk to, though it has given her the time she needs to practice hiding her secret and being able to look the rest of her family in the eyes.

“Sure. What did you need?”

“Well, I...I just wanted to know why…” Hinoka groans. “This is coming out all wrong. I’m sorry if it’s my fault that you said yes.”

“Your fault? What do you mean?”

“You’re going to marry Prince Xander! I know I made a big fuss about how I wouldn’t do it, and that it was wrong, and Ryoma said it was important for Hoshido, and I’m just...I guess I’m worried that you felt like you had to do it because I wouldn’t. And I don’t want you to go away! I don’t want you to go away for any reason, but especially not because of something I did.”

“Is that...what you think I did?” She’s been so busy worrying about everyone finding out about Takumi, that she hasn’t spent much time wondering what they think about her engagement.

“I know it might look bad, or Ryoma might tell you not to, but...if that’s the reason you agreed to marry Xander, then you can call off the wedding!” she declares. “I’ll take the blame, and I can even see if he’ll have me in your stead!”

“Hinoka…” Corrin shakes her head. “It’s not like that at all. I decided from the beginning, on my own, that if he wanted me, then I would go. It is partially because I didn’t want you to have to, but it’s also for Sakura, and for Ryoma, and...it’s for everyone.”

“I don’t want you to have to go away…”

“I know. I’m nervous about leaving myself, but...one of us had to do it, and Xander chose me. He really isn’t so bad, anyway...if I had to be married to someone, he isn’t the worst option.” Though she is mostly just saying this for Hinoka’s benefit, she supposes she would have felt that way if she hadn’t realized her feelings for Takumi.

“Please just promise me that you’ll do what makes you happy,” says Hinoka with a frown.

“I will,” she lies, because she can’t tell the truth. She can’t tell Hinoka that she sometimes thinks she’ll only be happy if she’s with Takumi, or that, even though she’s only been with him like this for a short time, that she’s already completely addicted to it, to him. That is something that she has to keep to herself.

~X~

The things that Orochi gives her to read vary, but all are informative to some degree, and all are incredibly embarrassing to read, even though she only reads them when she is completely alone. She’s picked up a few tricks on her, due to the long hours spent exploring her own body and trying to reach that pleasure at a quicker pace, and trying to figure out how to get there while with Takumi, but there’s still so much she simply doesn’t know.

Part of her feels like it’s her responsibility to learn because she’s the older sibling and she should be the one guiding him, and another part of her thinks she shouldn’t think about this in terms of being siblings. Of course, that’s the only way to think about it, but if she dwells on it too much, then she remembers that it’s supposed to be wrong.

It  _ is _ wrong, she reminds herself, but it’s so easy to forget that when they’re alone together and when she feels the peace that she only feels with him, that she’s never felt before in her life. If only he weren’t her brother...she finds herself wondering about how their lives would be in that case often. But she also wonders if she would love him nearly as much, which causes her to wonder how much of her affection for him exists solely because he is her little brother.

Shaking her head, she tries to focus on her reading. Their time together is coming closer to its end, so she doesn’t have long to learn and put what she’s learned into practice. And then...then she’ll be in Xander’s bed instead. She won’t live with Takumi at all anymore, and she won’t have his room to sneak off to.

That night, she feels almost panicked waiting for him, as if the time will get away from her if he doesn’t open his door right away. She’s desperate for every second they can spend together, but when she sees his face, she thinks he might feel the same way.


	8. Chapter 8

Figuring out new positions is always clumsy at first, and Takumi is never sure, frequently wanting to give up quickly. The fact that Corrin won’t tell him what made her decide to try something like that out only makes him more reluctant, but every time, she’s able to talk him into trying until they have it all figured out.

“I’m not so sure this is a good idea,” he always says. “If it works any other way, why bother?”

“But don’t you want to see if it feels any different?”

“Where do you even get your ideas?”

“That’s not important,” she replies, and she never gets up the nerve to tell him that she’s been reading nearly religiously in her spare time.

Tonight, he’s sitting and she’s in his lap, facing out with her legs resting to either side of him. It’s not the easiest position to get into, nor is it the most comfortable thing they’ve done, but it gives him the opening to wrap both arms around her, to take both nipples between his fingers and pinch and pull and tease. This always leaves her a breathless mess, and it was because of the surprising sensitivity of her nipples that she managed to reach a climax with Takumi for the first time.

Whether he knows that was the first time or not, whether he’s keeping quiet and not saying anything because he feels guilty or not, she doesn’t know, but he’s always dutiful now and never stops until she’s there.

It’s been a learning experience for the both of them, but they’ve both proven to be quick studies. When she manages to whimper out, “Now,” he knows to drop one of his hands between her legs, to stroke at her clit while he continues thrusting up into her. With so much stimulation, it’s only a matter of time before she’s barely hanging on, and at this point, she always starts to pull away so that he knows to let her go. Sometimes, he gets close before she does, and he’s the one to pull away, but not tonight.

They finish each other with their hands from that point on, and there’s something almost childlike in the simplicity of it. It’s easier than taking the risks that come with their alternative, and with a wedding on the horizon, there is absolutely no room for risks.

They fuck because they feel like they need to, and because they don’t know what else they can do together, when they have to keep their relationship completely hidden, though Corrin thinks that just sleeping at his side would be just as worth it.

~X~

Everyone makes an even bigger fuss about the next visit, because Xander won’t be coming alone this time. The preparations for the wedding have begun, and he’ll be bringing his siblings with him as well. It’s a rude awakening, when Corrin finds herself busy from morning to night preparing to meet her new family, when she finds herself so exhausted that when she sneaks into Takumi’s room, she can only crawl into his bed and sleep until morning.

They know that their time together is really coming to an end now, and what’s worse is that they cannot do much to make these last days memorable. She’s going to be so busy with wedding preparations from here on out that it’s hard to tell which night will be their last. Neither say it, but both feel panicked as each day slips away from them.

And then the Nohrian royal family arrives with much celebration, and they are all announced from youngest to oldest. First, there is Princess Elise, and then Prince Leo, Princess Azura, Princess Camilla, and finally, Corrin’s fiance. He gives her a warm smile when he sees her, one that is almost matched in warmth by Camilla, while his youngest sister openly gawks. Leo and Azura keep straight faces, so it’s hard for Corrin to guess what they think of her.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” says Xander, speaking to her with surprising familiarity. “I’ve been looking forward to having you meet my family, since I’ve met yours. I hope you all get along, especially you and my sisters, since they’ll be helping you the most to get ready for the wedding.”

“Just wait until you see the design for your dress!” Elise says, speaking up. “Oh, sorry! It’s nice to meet you, Corrin. I’m so excited to have another big sister!” If she was surprised by the familiar way Xander spoke to her, it is nothing compared to Elise.

“Yes, we’re all looking forward to having another member of the family,” adds Camilla. “But Xander didn’t mention how beautiful his future bride is.”

Corrin blushes, and Xander quickly says, “Don’t say it like, that makes it sound like…”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure she knows that you think she’s very beautiful!”

“Camilla, please…” It’s the first time she’s ever seen Xander get flustered, and there’s something oddly charming about it.

She hasn’t allowed herself to think too much about him, even though she did mean what she said to Hinoka about him not being the worst option for marriage. He’s such a handsome man, and he seems like the sort who might have a softer side, once you got to know him. She hadn’t thought much about her love life before realizing her feelings for Takumi, but now she wonders if Xander wouldn’t have been more interesting to her if she weren’t in love with her own brother.

As for Takumi, he is right there with her, as are the rest of her siblings. Besides introductions, no one has really said anything to the Nohrian siblings, and now, she wonders what everyone is thinking, listening to Camilla tease the man who is going to be her husband, the man who is going to be a king. She wonders if Takumi is holding up alright, and she wonders what the rest of her family thinks of how familiar the two princesses have been with her. Do they all think this family is stealing her away?

~X~

It takes time for everyone to settle in, and that night, though Corrin knows that the risk is even greater with Xander so close, she has to see Takumi. He ushers her into his room, looking irritated, and she supposes he’s thinking the same thing in terms of it being a risk.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” is the first thing that he says.

“But I wanted to see you,” she replies, and Takumi sighs.

“I know, I...wanted to see you too, but still. What if one of the Nohrians got nosy and happened to be sneaking around at the same time as you?”

“I was careful. Nobody saw me, I promise.”

“Well, you’re here already, so…” Sighing he sits down, looking exhausted. She knows he hasn’t been getting much sleep since their affair began, and she feels guilty.

“I can go back to my room,” she says.

“No, it’s okay. Like I said, you’re already here.”

She goes to sit with him, and he pulls her close to him. Neither of them have much to say, even though there is so much hanging between them, unspoken. She can’t bring herself to talk about her impressions of her future siblings, and he won’t ask her anything about her impending marriage. Both of them already know what the other must be thinking about, and yet neither of them is willing to try to put it to words.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shi T FINALLY ALMOST TO THE WEDDING

The preparations for the wedding continue, though Corrin is mostly unaware of what’s going on. Xander tells her that everyone in the Nohrian castle is working hard to get it ready for her and their wedding, and she supposes that’s enough. The only thing she has any part of is the fitting for her dress, and the design looks like nothing she’s ever seen before, though she can’t deny that it’s beautiful.

Her new “sisters” are supposed to be teaching her how to behave to make sure she doesn’t humiliate herself in her new home, but she’s only told, again and again, that she has nothing to worry about.

“If you’re just yourself, I bet everyone will love you in no time!” says Elise, who has taken quite the liking to her. Corrin can’t help but dote on her a bit, perhaps because she’s around Sakura’s age.

“Even if they don’t, you’ll always have us,” adds Camilla, who has practically adopted Corrin into the family already. “I’ll make sure no one gets their filthy hands on any member of my family!”

“There might be some who don’t trust you,” says Azura. “But that’s only because you’re Hoshidan. I’m sure, with time…”

“With time, they’ll see how great you are!” finishes Elise. “I mean, if Xander loves you, how could they not?”

Corrin flushes at her words, and wonders if she should speak up about that. She and Xander hardly know each other, and they aren’t marrying for love; if he’s genuinely fallen for her, that’s certainly news to her. But, she supposes she’s supposed to act like they’re in love, or at least put on a good show of being a couple. It’s better to get in the habit of it now, she knows.

“Thank you all for helping me so much,” is all she says.

“So what do you think of my big brother?”

“Elise, that’s a very personal question,” says Azura.

“That it is,” agrees Camilla, “but I think we’re all curious. Of course, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, dear.”

“I...like him,” she says. “He’s a very handsome man, and he has a lot of interesting things to say.”

“Oh, you don’t think he’s super boring or scary? I can see why he’d pick you! Sometimes I can hardly keep up with what he has to say, though he’s nowhere near as boring as Leo can be sometimes!”

“I’m sure he’s not so bad,” she says with a laugh. It’s too easy to feel comfortable with this family, and that’s a blessing, she knows, since they will be a part of her family soon, but she feels guilty all the same, knowing that she’s deceiving them all.

But, that isn’t to say she isn’t deceiving everyone. Even her own family doesn’t know the awful truth about her relationship with Takumi. They all think that she’s happily marrying Xander- or, at least, that she’s marrying him without much to regret- and that she and her younger brother are still as distant as ever. Nobody but she and Takumi know just how far she’s gone, or that she’s already betrayed her husband-to-be, or that she did that with her own brother.

But thinking about it over and over again isn’t going to change anything. The only thing she can change is what she does from here on out, and yet she’s never able to tear herself away. Tonight will be just like any other.

~X~

“You’re going to be travelling to Nohr with us,” says Xander. “There won’t be much time before the wedding then, but hopefully you won’t have a hard time adjusting.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Corrin lies, though her discomfort has nothing to do with the amount of time she’ll have to get used to it before their wedding. She’s going to be away from Takumi, and she isn’t sure if that’s something she’ll ever be able to get used to. “Everyone is already being so nice to me, so…”

“I know that some of my sisters can be a bit much, so I’m glad you like them,” he says with a gentle smile.

“Do you mean Camilla and Elise? They’re both sweet!”

“They are, but for a first impression, they can both be a little overbearing. Azura is a bit more reserved, but she’s kind,” he says. “I know you haven’t spent much time with Leo, but I’m sure the two of you will get along as well.”

“Your family is wonderful,” she says genuinely.

“I hope that you all continue to get along. Since you’re coming from a big family, I’d hoped that being with my siblings would make it easier to adjust to the change, and that it would make you feel less lonely.”

She really doesn’t deserve all of his kindness, but she just smiles and thanks him for being so concerned about her. Xander shakes his head and replies, “You don’t need to thank me for that. I have every reason to be concerned about you. Regardless of the reason behind our marriage, you’re still going to be my wife, and I want you to be happy. You know that I chose you because you’re someone I want to get to know better. You’re someone that I know I could come to care for quite a bit, so I would do whatever I could to make sure that you’re happy in your new life.”

“I’m not sure if I deserve this much kindness,” she admits softly, wondering if he can see her guilt on her face.

“I’m going to have to disagree with you on that,” is all he says, with that smile that she thinks she could have loved, if things were different.

~X~

Takumi has been learning a lot about Nohr in his spare time. He wants to learn everything he can about the country stealing Corrin away from him, about her future home, and along the way, he learns something that he has a hard time getting out of his mind. Court is not so much a part of his life in Hoshido; in the past, it was a bigger deal, but his father certainly didn’t care much for that sort of thing, and Ryoma cares even less, so it’s not something Takumi has thought much about before now.

However, the royal court in Nohr is an important part of royal life, he learns, and it isn’t uncommon for members of noble families looking to get in good with the royal family to be a part of it. Not only that, but the family of the queen is always welcome, according to what he learns as he studies. If Hoshido is to truly be involved with Nohr, perhaps having someone go to court to represent them wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

He knows that it  _ would _ be a bad idea for him to be the one to go, to allow himself to be close to Corrin again. She’s getting married, and this was supposed to be how he got away from her and escaped from his feelings. If he follows her, he’ll never be able to get over her, and there’s a chance that they’ll try to continue their affair, which would only put her in danger. Infidelity must be a capital offense, at least where royalty is concerned, and to follow her to Nohr would surely endanger both of their lives.

And yet he goes to Ryoma anyway. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“What is it, Takumi?”


	10. Chapter 10

“Well, I...have been doing a lot of research on Nohr,” he says, as he goes to sit with his older brother.

“And is there something that concerns you?”

“Not exactly, I…” He takes a deep breath. “Are you familiar with their royal court?”

“Of course I am, though I’m surprised to see you taking an interest. You’ve never cared much for Nohrian politics or culture before.”

Can Ryoma see to his ulterior motives already? Takumi keeps a stiff face and says, “If we’re going to have a table alliance with them, I think it’s about time I take an interest.”

“And our sister is marrying the future king.”

“Yes...that.” Can Ryoma see that he’s blushing now? “Anyway, I think...I think it would be beneficial to have someone from our family go to court. Someone from the future queen’s family should be there, and if we’re trying to get closer and prove our pure intentions...well, I just think it’s a good idea.” He had a much more elegant speech planned, but he’s so nervous now that most of it is falling flat.

“You think that you should be the one to go,” says Ryoma, and he does not say it like a question.

“I think that it should be one of us, and that it can’t be you, obviously. I don’t think you’d feel any more comfortable than I would, sending Sakura by herself, and Hinoka doesn’t seem like the sort who could adjust to court life just like that.”

“Whereas you enjoy studying enough that you could learn all the proper behaviors, and, if you’re really so interested in Nohr now, it would be a good chance for you to further your studies,” his brother finishes. “You  _ would _ make the most sense out of all of us, but if it’s just because you’re worried about Corrin, you should know that she won’t be going completely alone. Xander has given me permission to send someone to guard her while she adjusts.”

“A guard?”

“It’s one of my retainer’s brother,” he says. “Very trustworthy and skilled. But not enough to make a good impression on the nobility there, so I do see your point. Takumi...you and Corrin were very close when you were children. You haven’t been as close lately, and I know she worries about it. I think she’d be happy to know that you care this much about her.”

“I…” He really has no idea just how close that they are, he doesn’t even suspect. “It’s for the good of all of us.”

“I understand. I’m going to talk things over with Prince Xander, and I’ll let you know what happens,” says Ryoma. “If he agrees to it, then you will be the first one I’ll consider.”

“Thank you,” he says, and they go their separate ways. He knows that he shouldn’t feel happy, or proud of himself, for doing something like that. More than anything, he should feel disappointed in himself, and he should tell Ryoma that he’s changed his mind, before it’s too late.

But he won’t.

~X~

_ Should I tell her, or will she just be upset with me? _ he asks himself, after Ryoma tells him that he will definitely be accompanying Corrin as she moves to Nohr.  _ I mean, it’s not like I can keep it a secret, but maybe I should wait on it… _

He knows that he shouldn’t have asked in the first place, and now that it’s been approved, he does regret it. Surely Corrin will be upset about it...surely Corrin is doing her best to try to break away from him before she gets married. He’s just messing everything up for her even more, selfishly holding onto her like this. Everything he’s done up until this point has been selfish.

Ignoring her and pushing her away because he couldn’t handle his own feelings, confessing those feelings to her, letting her sleep with him every night, and now this. If he truly loved her, he wouldn’t do all these things; he would have been a better brother to her, all this time. He would have done his best to focus on being her family, and maybe then, his feelings for her would have become more proper. Instead, he was always selfish, and now he’s going to make things even more complicated for her.

He can’t bring himself to confess what he’s done, and when she comes to his room that night, he pretends to be asleep until she walks away.

~X~

Corrin stares at her wall, wondering if Takumi just got too tired to wait up for her. Maybe she went to visit him too late, and if she had been there earlier, then he wouldn’t have fallen asleep. But then she feels guilty for thinking that, since he must be exhausted and she’s only thinking about herself.

_ It’s not like it’s really a bad thing that we didn’t spend any time together. Really, it’s all for the better. Still, I feel like I lost a whole night that I can never get back… _

Sighing, she decides to just try to go to sleep. There are just a few more days until she has to start traveling. Her family will be right behind her, but they’ll be returning home after the ceremony, while she will only ever be back to visit, if she’s lucky. For a moment, she tries to imagine what their lives will be like without her, but she pushes those thoughts out of her mind when she imagines Takumi being engaged to someone else.

It stands to reason that he  _ would _ be married someday, and she shouldn’t be so jealous, especially of someone neither of them even know yet. Takumi isn’t hers, and he never was to begin with. The sooner she accepts that, the better it will be for the both of them.

~X~

“Takumi will be going with you,” says Ryoma, taking her completely by surprise. She doesn’t expect him to come up to her, talking about Takumi when the two of them have done a good job pretending not to be close.

“Aren't you...aren't you all coming to the wedding?” she asks. “I figured Takumi would be included…”

“Well, yes, but I don't just mean that. Takumi is going to be living in Nohr as well. I'm sure you're familiar with their royal court after all the reading you did to get ready to meet Prince Xander.”

“And Takumi is going because of that?”

“He and I both agreed that that would be beneficial, and of our siblings, don't you think he's the right choice?”

Corrin can hardly believe what she's hearing. Takumi is going to come with her? He's going to be living in Nohr? She isn't sure what to feel, but she nods and says, “Yea, he definitely is.”

“He probably doesn't want me to tell you this, but I think it's because he was worried about you,” says Ryoma. “It was him who brought the idea to my attention, and I think it’s been bothering him, worrying about you being by yourself.”

“I’m sure that isn’t what it is…”

“I don’t know about that. I can’t imagine him doing this under most circumstances. Well, either way, I thought that might make you feel better to know.”

“I’ll...thank him. Thank you, too,” she says, unsure of what else she  _ should _ say. She just wants a second to herself to think, and to try to figure out what’s going to happen now. After trying to get used to the fact that she won’t be seeing Takumi anymore, now she’s been told that he’ll be going with her. What’s going to happen to them now?


	11. Chapter 11

As much as Corrin wants to talk about things with Takumi, her brother only makes it difficult for her. He never lets her come by at night, always keeping his door closed and locked, ignoring her soft knocking until she’s forced to give up and go back to her own room. During the day, she has no chance to get him alone either, and she’s afraid to talk too much about this with him where other people can hear. If she isn’t careful, she might say something to tip people off that there’s something unusual going on between the two of them.

She has no choice but to keep her concerns to herself, until the day comes that her family has to set out for Nohr. It’s almost time for her wedding, at long last, and she has even less time to try to get Takumi alone. Almost all of her time for the past few days has been spent with the Nohrian princesses, and now that she’s traveling, she’s supposed to be with Xander.

“You must be nervous,” he says, observing how distant she is. “I can’t imagine how this must feel for you.”

“It’s really not that bad,” she lies, not wanting to worry him too much. “I’m just not used to traveling all that much.”

“You’ve never been to Nohr,” he replies. “Have you ever been anywhere this far from home?”

“I haven’t.”

“It’s going to be really different from anything you’re used to. I know you’ve done a lot of reading about it, so you’ll catch on quickly, and since you’ll be the queen, you’ll still live a very easy life. And, of course, you’ll have your younger brother around at times, which might help with your homesickness.”

She looks down, and softly says, “Yes, having Takumi around will be nice.”

“Are the two of you close?”

Corrin bites the inside of his cheek as she considers his words. If Xander knew just _how_ close they were, he wouldn’t think it was a good thing that Takumi was coming with her. Hell, even she doesn’t think it’s a good thing, even though a very large part of her is still relieved that they won’t be completely separated. As far as anyone knows, she and Takumi haven’t been close in a while, and that’s the illusion that she has to help keep up, no matter what.

“Not really, no. We were when we were younger, but we’ve definitely grown apart since then.” She’s practiced this lie so many times that it comes out sounding so natural. More natural than she was expecting, in her paranoia, and so she is glad. Xander nods as if he understands.

“I’ve had so many responsibilities placed on me throughout the years that I haven’t been particularly close with any of my siblings in a long time. I’ve had to be the stern ruler even before our father died...honestly, I don’t think Elise has ever known me any other way,” he says. “But I still try to do whatever I can for all of them. Even if I’m too busy for them at times, I always want them to know that I love them.”

“Elise has only ever had nice things to say about you,” Corrin replies. “I don’t think you have much to worry about, with any of your siblings. And, if it’s anything like we are with Ryoma...well, then I think they all understand.”

“To think I’d be able to have a conversation like this with a Hoshidan princess,” he murmurs. “Oh, please don’t take that the wrong way. I only mean that our countries were at odds for so long, but we seem so similar. At least, our families do.”

She wonders just how similar their families really are. On the surface, their stories match up quite a bit, but there are things that he doesn’t know. She doubts that anyone in his family has a relationship like she has with Takumi; but, then again, there’s no way to know for sure. For all she knows, there is someone in a similar situation, assuming that _her_ family could never be anything like theirs. Or maybe she’s just telling herself that as a means of comfort, to try to convince herself that what they’re doing in normal in any way.

“I understand,” is all she says.

“I’m glad that our countries can have this union,” he says, “and I’m glad that it’s through us. I don’t want to be too forward but...every conversation I have with you leaves me more certain of my choice. Princess Corrin, thank you for agreeing to be my bride.”

What does he mean by that? She wouldn’t think anything of it if he hadn’t talked about being forward, but now she doesn’t understand the meaning behind his words at all, nor does she understand why she almost hopes it means what she thinks it does. Her heart belongs to Takumi, and even if Xander will be her husband, that isn’t going to change how she feels. Right or wrong, she’ll always love her brother, even as she does what she can to be the perfect bride for another man.

“The pleasure is all mine.” It’s an automatic response, and not really appropriate for such a serious discussion, but she can’t think of anything else to say to him. But Xander smiles, and she’s glad for that. Even if she doesn’t love him, she has to make sure that she keeps him happy, no matter what.

~X~

There is no chance to see any of her family, Takumi included, for very long, and certainly no chance to be alone with anyone. She’s fitted into her wedding dress and made to rehearse her vows backwards and forwards, given a short speech she’s meant to memorize, for right after the ceremony. It expresses her joy and gratitude for being accepted as a part of the Nohrian royal family, with a lot of flowery stuff about how wonderful and amazing her king and husband is.  
Things are even busier here than they were while preparing back home, and before she knows it, the day of her wedding is upon her. She has a few minutes with her siblings, and one by one, they wish her luck before the big event.

“I can’t express how proud I am of you,” Ryoma says.

“I hope he treats you right,” Hinoka says. “If you’re unhappy in any way, please, just tell us.”

“Good luck,” is all Takumi says, and she doesn’t get a good enough look at his eyes to try and guess what it is that he’s thinking.

“I-I hope you’re always happy, big sister,” Sakura says. “You look beautiful.”

Then it’s time for the ceremony, which passes in such a blur that Corrin isn’t sure whether she gets her vows or her speech right or not, and then it’s over. She’s now officially married to Xander, and soon, he will be coronated and she will be his queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is finally the frickfrack with xander  
> i know what you brotherfuckers are here for


	12. Chapter 12

Corrin knows what’s waiting for her that night, after all the festivities following her wedding are over. When Xander brings her back to his room, she knows what she has to do, now that she’s his bride. It’s something that she’s been dreading from the beginning, especially since she began doing such things with Takumi, but she knows that there is no way out of this. Their marriage has to be consummated, and someday, she’ll have to have a child for Xander, and even if she were able to convince him not to go through with this tonight, there would be another night eventually. She can’t escape this forever, so she decides to just go through with it now, no matter what.

Xander smiles at her when they’re alone, a gentle smile that she thinks might make her feel safe under most circumstances. He sits down beside her and brushes her hair out of her face, saying, “I’m glad that we finally have a chance to be alone together. Today must have been a lot to take in, but you did great. You’re going to make a wonderful queen.”

She doesn’t tell him just how much she doubts that, but she can still hardly believe that that’s what she is now. Or, at least, she will be after his coronation, but she might as well get used to the thought as soon as possible.

“I’ll certainly do my best,” she says, not quite able to meet his eye. She knows what comes next, what’s waiting for her tonight, but he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry right now. Balling her hands into fists, she rests them on either side of her and looks somewhere off to the side of his face with a stiff smile.

“We haven’t gotten to be alone together too often since I proposed to you,” he says. “It’s not going to be like this often, so I’m going to be busy, but I promise, whenever I have the chance to be with you, I’ll take it.”

She wants to tell him that he’s being too nice to her, that she doesn’t deserve any of this, and that she isn’t sure if she even wants him to take every opportunity he has to spend time with her. Takumi flashes into her mind again and she tells herself that she has to stop thinking about him when she’s with Xander- her  _ husband _ . Whatever they have is over now, even if they haven’t officially put an end to that. She knows that, and he has to know that as well.

“I understand how busy you’ll be,” is all she says.

“While we have this time together, let’s enjoy it,” replies Xander. He kisses her, the second kiss that they’ve shared, though the first was quick and in front of a crowd, meant only for show. This time, he’s slow and he cups her cheek, and leans his body into hers. She refuses to compare it to the clumsy kisses she’s shared with Takumi, or think of the way they’ve changed and improved as time went on.

Xander slowly, gently pushes her until she’s on her back, and he’s on top of her, smiling down at her. There’s something more than lust in his eyes, though she can’t quite put a name to what it is, only that it makes her feel horrible for feeling nothing but terror right now. He isn’t going to hurt her, she keeps reminding herself, and this is something she absolutely has to go through with. She barely pays attention to the way he undresses her, and doesn’t let herself watch when he stands up to undress himself. If she looks at him for too long, she just knows she’ll start making comparisons between his broad chest and shoulders, and the more lean form that she’s grown used to.

“I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he murmurs, and she can assume that it’s his first time. He certainly expects it to be hers, and she prays that he won’t be able to easily tell that it isn’t. She nods, laying back for him, and noting the way he climbs on top of her without doing anything else to get her ready. His lack of experience is all the more evident, and she’s almost glad she’s had so much practice to prepare her for this.

It doesn’t hurt as much as it did the first time with Takumi, but she also wasn’t quite ready, so it’s harder for her to relax. At the very least, this means she doesn’t have to fake a pained expression, that he isn’t confused about the way she feels around him. As far as Xander can tell, as he pushes inside of her, this is her first time as well.

For a moment, she considers telling him what to do to make it better for her, but she decides against it, not wanting him to question where her knowledge comes from. Better to let him learn on his own, or pretend to make discoveries alongside him, and endure things being subpar in the meantime. After all, it could be a great deal worse, and he seems to be enjoying himself plenty, if his staggered breathing and soft moans are anything to go off of.

He leans his face down and gently kisses along her neck, and she has to admit that  _ that _ feels good, and that the more time he spends working his hips against hers, the better his technique becomes. It’s not like she’s enough of a seasoned expert to truly be able to judge him about this, and if she really let herself, she knows that she would be able to enjoy it. However, she  _ won’t _ let herself, and if Xander notices that she doesn’t finish before he does, giving a low groan as he comes inside of her without worry, he doesn’t say anything.

She isn’t even sure if he knows that he’s supposed to worry about that, or if he even cares to begin with. No matter how kind he is to her, she tells herself that she doesn’t truly know what kind of man he is, and that she shouldn’t enjoy a thing he does to her. Even if he’s better next time, even if he improves and picks up on tricks that makes it better than anything she’s ever had, she can’t enjoy it because she doesn’t deserve to.

Not only is she betraying Takumi if she does, but she’s already betrayed Xander. No matter how she looks at things, she’s always going to be guilty, and she doesn’t deserve to enjoy her marriage any more than she deserved to be so close to her brother.

The first night she spends with her husband, not quite falling asleep with Xander holding her close to him, she can’t stop thinking about Takumi, and how she needs to talk to him soon, if only she could find the chance. She knows that he’s nearby, but it’ll likely be impossible to get the time alone she needs with him for a very long time, but she has so many things that she needs to ask him. Why did he come with her, when he knew just as well as she did that their affair had to come to an end?


	13. Chapter 13

When Corrin’s siblings return to Hoshido, things quickly become much lonelier for her. While they’re still there, Xander lets her spend as much time with them as she wants, but Ryoma can’t stay for very long, and Hinoka and Sakura follow him back home. Naturally, Takumi keeps his distance just as much as ever when they’re around, and once they’re gone, he’s nowhere to be found. As far as she’s aware, he’s been interested in studying all that the library here has to offer, and that’s all she knows.

Her life becomes a very lonely one, because her husband has no time for her, and even when he does, it’s impossible for her to warm up to him completely. Nothing will change the fact that she doesn’t feel as though she deserves any sort of closeness with him, and she’s honestly grateful that he keeps his distance at night now, sharing a bed with her but doing nothing more. She knows that the mood will strike him eventually, but he doesn’t pester her for it nightly, and it’s nothing like things were with Takumi.

During the daytime, she is sometimes made to spend time with her new sisters, and they are just as nice as ever, but she’s still lonely, and she knows that the only thing that could comfort her now is the brother that she’s been forced to end things with.

She has no idea how he’s adjusting to life in Nohr, and she at least wishes she could ask him about that, even if they had to talk like nothing ever happened between them. He never seemed interested in travel before, and she certainly never pegged him as someone who would want to live here, so she can’t help but worry about him, which only makes her loneliness all the worse.

She’s grateful for the distance Xander keeps between the two of them, only making friendly conversation when he’s around her, but she’s even more grateful for the nights that he’s so busy that she sleeps alone. Or, at least, she thinks that she is, but sleeping alone does remind her of the last nights before she left Hoshido, when Takumi wouldn’t see her anymore, and that makes it harder to endure them.

She has to see Takumi again, at least to talk to him one last time. As bad of an idea as it may be, she can’t keep away from him, not right now. On one of the nights when Xander is too busy to spend the night with her, she makes up her mind and pokes her head out of her room. Like always, the Hoshidan sent with her by Ryoma comes out of nowhere, practically, revealing himself to speak with her.

“Is there a problem?” asks Kaze.

“My brother,” she says. “I haven’t seen him in a long time. Do you know where he is?”

“I do, milady. Do you need to speak with him?” Though he doesn’t outwardly question it, she can tell that he’s confused that she’s asking about this so late.

“It’s very lonely when Xander is busy,” she replies. “Not to mention, I’ve been missing Hoshido more and more. If Takumi isn’t asleep, I’d like to spend some time with my family. Do you think that would be okay?”

“If that’s what you want,” he says without hesitation. “I’m sorry about your homesickness. I wish there was more that I could do to make it easier for you.”

“Taking me to see my brother is more than enough,” she says honestly, and closes her door behind her as Kaze leads the way.

After a bit of a walk, they finally reach a door and Kaze gestures to it. It’s so quiet and so dark that it feels strange to be roaming around this strange castle, but then, she was once sneaking around her own home at late hours, so it’s really not all that different. She hesitates for a moment, as Kaze backs away, and when she looks back a moment later, she can’t see him anymore. Even so, she knows that he’ll be close by, guarding her.

Finally, she knocks and, just like old times, Takumi is quick to answer the door. His face first brightens, then falls, until he’s scowling at her. “What are you doing here?”

“Let me in,” she says.

“I think you know why I shouldn’t.”

“I still think you should,” she replies, giving him a pointed look to try to let him know that they’re being watched right now.

“Alright,” he says with a sigh, stepping back to let her in. Once the door is closed behind him, he says, “Are you an idiot? You know you can’t just come to my room like this!”

“Well, it’s not like I have a choice! I have no other way to talk to you. You’ve been ignoring me since before we left Hoshido.”

“Because I’m smart enough to know better.”

“Then why did you come here with me?” The question hangs heavy in the room for quite some time, and Takumi doesn’t seem to have much of an answer at first.

“I don’t know,” he finally says. “I know that I shouldn’t have, and I know that it was a mistake. That’s why I’ve done what I can to keep my distance from you. I can’t change that I’m here, but...we should have ended things a long time ago.”

Everything he’s saying is true, yet it still hurts her all the same. “You can’t just follow me here and expect me to pretend like nothing ever happened! I...I can’t just forget without any closure or anything! I never made you follow me here, so the least you could do is  _ talk _ to me.”

“You and I both know what happens when we try to talk about things. It’s not like we could ever actually have closure. As soon as we get together like this, we always...it’s just better to never get close again!” he says, scowling. Even so, she knows him well enough to see the pain in his eyes, the conflict. She knows full well what he means and why they can’t allow themselves to talk to each other like this, and she knows that she should let the argument end here, and leave him alone.

“You can push me away all you want, but I...but I...I can’t stay away!” she finally says, before quieting down a bit. She isn’t sure how well Kaze can hear them, but she knows they need to keep it to a whisper if they want to avoid him catching on. “I’m not going to stay away.”

“Corrin, what are you saying?” Now, Takumi only looks sad. “You know you can’t say something like that, or else…”

“Or else…” she replies, and without another word, they lean closer until their lips meet. She must have known, somewhere in the back of her mind, that this was what was going to happen when she set out to see him. He seems to have missed her just as terribly as she’s missed him, and it’s hard for them to keep things quiet, but they do everything they can not to make a sound.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the goal is to have this done by the end of july so i don't have to worry about it when i go back to school

It doesn’t take long after they’ve finished for the guilt to truly set in. Corrin hasn’t been married for all that long, and already, she’s committed adultery, with her own brother. She supposes she should have seen this as inevitable, but still, she had hoped that she would be able to make a complete break with Takumi. Instead, she had fallen right back into temptation, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to come out of it.

“Goodnight,” she says softly, before she goes to leave his room.

“Goodnight,” he replies, not looking at her.

As soon as she’s back in the hallway, Kaze comes out from wherever he was and asks, “Did you enjoy getting to see your brother?”

Part of her thinks that he must just be playing innocent, that there’s no way that he doesn’t know what was going on, but if he does, it seems he wants to keep that to himself right now. She can only hope that his loyalty to her is greater than it is to her husband, or her older brother, and that her secret will remain safe even if Kaze has discovered it. Forcing a smile, she says, “Yes, it was nice to get to see family.”

“Well, we should get you back to your room now. You need to sleep, after all.”

And just like that, she returns to the room she’s supposed to share with Xander and she lays down, as if nothing happened. If only she could pretend that nothing happened forever, but, even though nothing was said, she and Takumi both know that that won’t be the end of things. It’ll only be a matter of time before she goes back to him, continuing their affair despite the obvious risks behind it.

Kaze gets in the habit of taking her to see her brother on nights when she’s alone, and still he keeps his mouth shut, never questioning it or indicating that he has suspicions.

~X~

Xander is worried about his wife. Corrin often seems tired or distant, and he isn't sure what the cause is, or if it's something he can help with. He doesn't want her to be unhappy, but she doesn't come to him with any concerns, and from what he hears, she doesn't seem to be having much trouble living here. Maybe she just doesn't like him, isn't falling for him like he’d hoped she would.

Because he did hope that she would fall for him. He took as much of a liking to her as he could in such a short time, and he was so sure that he would fall in love with her, and that she would fall in love with him in return. Whenever they’re together, he feels happy and relaxed, but he’s starting to notice that the feeling isn’t mutual. Even though he knows that he is falling for her, he doesn’t think that she’s falling for him. In fact, he’s afraid that she might completely dislike him and be miserable here.

If that’s the case, then he’s really failing as her husband. Maybe if he weren’t so busy and could spend more time with her, and they could talk like they have before, then she would come around, and trust him more. He realizes that he has absolutely no experience in this department, and that, if he hadn’t been royalty, he might have had a much harder time winning over a woman like her.

Xander really does think that she’s amazing, and she’s had his attention from the moment she expressed her desire to do whatever she could for her family. Growing up with a cold and distant ruler for a father, one who seemed to get worse and worse as he grew, meant that Xander was left with only his siblings to count on, and he knows better than anyone what it feels like to want to sacrifice everything for the sake of one’s family. He would do anything for his siblings, and he’d like to have a family with Corrin, one that they could do anything for together.

“I’d like for you to come to me with any problems you have,” he says one day, after trying and failing to come up with a way to be subtle.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I know what you mean.” She doesn’t even try to meet his eye, and he can tell that he’s making her uncomfortable already, even though they’ve barely begun speaking.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, Corrin,” he says, trying a gentle smile. “I know that you’ve not been as happy as you could be, and I just want you to know that, whatever’s bothering you, you can tell me about it. I know I’m busy, but if I need to do anything for you, I’ll make time.”

“It’s nothing like that,” she says, finally looking up at him. “I’m just...I’m still a little homesick, is all.”

He suspected that that had a lot to do with it, but he hopes that it doesn’t have anything to do with him not making this place feel like enough of a home to her. “It must be hard to adjust. If there’s anything I can do to make it easier, please let me know.”

“You don’t have to worry about it,” she replies, but he can tell that her smile is forced.

“If there’s nothing I can do, at least try to take more time to see your brother,” he finally says, since it’s the only thing that he can think of. “Have you seen him at all since the two of you came to live here?”

“Not much,” she answers quickly.

“Well, if you’re feeling homesick, feel free to ask someone to take you to see him. He spends most of his time studying the different books we have here or meeting with nobility, from what I hear. You have every right to do those things with him, if you’d like.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. I do wish I could do more for you,” he says. “Promise me that you’ll tell me if you think of anything, alright?”

“Of course. I really do appreciate everything that you’ve done for me,” says Corrin. “No, this hasn’t been easy, but you’ve done so much to try to make sure I’m happy. If it weren’t for your kindness, I really don’t know if I would have been able to handle so many big changes.”

They aren’t particularly physically affectionate most of the time, as they’re still getting used to one another, but Xander can’t help pulling her into an embrace, for just a moment. “I’ll keep doing whatever it takes,” he says. “And, whenever you need to see your brother, I promise you can. I won’t do anything to keep the two of you apart.”

~X~

Corrin doesn’t have words for how awful she feels.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe i promised to have it done quickly then literally never updated again  
> sorry, had some bad fandom experiences but I'm back lmao. This update is really short, but it's something, and I hope to get back into the swing of writing this. 2018 be the year i finish my wips  
> ALSO I PLAN TO HAVE SOME FILTH IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

Xander has done everything he can, with what limited free time he has, to ensure that Corrin’s transition to living in Nohr is as smooth as possible, but lately, she’s seemed even more off than usual. He’d hoped that her spending more time with her brother would start to pick her mood up, but she still seems upset, perhaps even more so, and he doesn’t know what to do.

She always brushes off his concerns with a smile that seems forced, telling him that she’s doing much better and that he doesn’t need to worry about her, and that only causes further worry. Though an arranged bride she may, it’s growing impossible for him to deny his deeper feelings for her, and his concern only reminds him of that. Xander knows that he must be falling in love with her, but he also knows better than to push that issue right now, when she’s got something else on her mind.

If it’s just the homesickness, then there isn’t anything he can do to cure it, nor is there anything anyone else can do other than her brother. And so, he decides to spare some time to visit with Takumi, because, of course, he must know his own sister much better.

Takumi treats him with all the respect he would expect from fellow royalty, going so far as to say, “I’m honored to be able to speak with you.”

“There’s no need to be so formal,” Xander replies, because they are alone, after all, and they’ll be discussing matters of the family. “I was only hoping that you could tell me a little more about your relationship with Corrin.”

“My what?” asks the prince, his voice breaking, and for a moment, Xander wonders what’s come over him.

“The two of you must be very close,” he goes on to say, hoping that he’s not confusing the other man.

“Not really,” Takumi mutters, so quickly that Xander is taken aback. But then, he sees that the other man is looking off to the side, almost shyly, and he wonders if he’s just denying it because he doesn’t like to be seen as affectionate.

“Well, she seems to think very highly of you.”

“Alright...what, exactly, did you want to know? About us?”

“Just how close the two of you are. The thing is, she hasn’t seemed her usual self lately...for a while, really. I’m not good at that sort of thing, and I’m still getting to know her and getting her to trust me, anyway,” he says. “I hoped that you might be able to give me a better idea of how to do that, or at least, that you might be able to figure out what’s bothering her.”

“We really aren’t all that close,” replies Takumi, still not making eye contact. “No closer than anyone else in the family. In fact, I’d say either of my sisters would be better for the job.”

“But they didn’t come follow her here, now, did they?” Xander gives him a knowing smile, and watches him shrink back a bit. “I may not know everything there is to know about my siblings, but I still wouldn’t say that we aren’t close, and I can recognize a strong family bond when I see one.”

“It’s nothing special.”

Now, it is hard not to laugh at how obvious the other man is being. Xander doesn’t know what makes Takumi so shy about his closeness with his sister, but he all too easy to read. Still, there is something likable about his behavior, even if there is also something childish to it. He can see why Corrin would like him, brother or not, and makes a note to talk to him more. Perhaps he, Corrin, and Takumi can spend a lot of time together, and perhaps that is what Corrin really needs to open up to him more.

“If you insist. Either way, the problem remains, and if you notice anything, or can think of anything that might help, please let me know.” He offers a small, professional smile. “That isn’t a royal order, or anything of the sort. Just a request from a husband to his brother-in-law.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” says Takumi, and, to his credit, he seems to make an effort to sound more professional himself. “Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Well, while I’m here, I might as well ask how you’re settling in as well. I know it must be quite different from Hoshido, so I hope the adjustments aren’t as hard on you as they are on Corrin.”

“Honestly, I’ve had an interest in studying Nohrian culture for quite some time,” he confesses, “though it was hard to do when the relationship was so strained. Now, I’ve got an opportunity to not only experience things first hand, but study in your libraries as well. There are a lot of resources that I never thought I’d have the chance to utilize.”

As he talks, he grows more vibrant, letting some of his enthusiasm slip out from behind his icy mask, and again, Xander finds it hard not to laugh. Takumi really is quite endearing, whether he realizes it or not. Nodding, he says, “Studying other cultures is important for any royal, but I can tell your interest goes a little further than that. You remind me of my own brother, in a way. Perhaps I should arrange a trip to Hoshido for him someday.”

“I’m sure my family would be honored to accommodate him.”

“If there’s anything you’re particularly interested in learning about or experiencing, or any specific books you need, don’t hesitate to ask me, or, if you can’t get to me directly, Corrin. For your studies, I’m sure I can at least find someone to help you.”

“I...thank you so much,” Takumi says, his expression warming even more. “I know that I don’t have much to offer in return, but whatever you may need of me, feel free to request, and I’ll do what I can.”

“All I ask is that you do what you can to keep my wife happy,” Xander replies, and then, Takumi’s face clouds over again. Well, it was nice seeing him open up while it lasted, he supposes.


	16. Chapter 16

Day in and day out, there is little Corrin can do to escape her guilt. She still loves Takumi so much that it hurts her, and, no matter how she’s tried to distance herself from him, she can’t. Were the really able to keep so far away from each other in Hoshido? All those years he barely spoke to her seem unreal now, and she couldn’t imagine going through them again.

She is very selfish for this, she knows; she is worse than that, even. Coming to Nohr and marrying Xander, becoming the perfect bride for him and forming a real bond with him, is about more than just  _ her _ , it is about her home, and her family, and Xander’s home, and Xander’s family. A relationship with anyone else is petty in comparison, and that is not even taking the nature of that relationship into consideration.

She tries her best to play her part, doing what she can to hide her guilt and let Xander believe that she’s truly feeling better. When she has to appear in public, always at his side for now, since he knows she isn’t comfortable addressing the Nohrians on her own yet, she smiles and she waves and she tries to look every bit the queen she is supposed to be.

The only way to overcome her guilt is to do what she can to be the person she is supposed to be. She knows that her feelings are wrong and that she is betraying her husband, but as long as she can’t shake her love for Takumi, she must at least do what she can for Xander. Xander...he’s been as wonderful of a husband as he can be given his position, and given how very difficult she’s made that for him.

From the beginning, he’s been nothing but kind to her, and she hasn’t done enough to repay that kindness. Not for the first time, she thinks to herself that, had she only met him in another life, things might have been different. She might have been able to love him wholly, free from guilt. That part always gives her pause, because she never means to think of Xander as someone she loves, but then, she does, and she wonders if she really has fallen in love with her husband, in some way.

But she always cuts those thoughts short, because it doesn’t matter if she does or not. It doesn’t change that she loves Takumi, and so, she doesn’t deserve to think herself in love with Xander. She has to play the part of a loving, devoted wife and queen, but as for her own feelings, they don’t matter.

So, one night when he is there to sleep with her, as soon as he rests a hand on her leg, she decides to go with it. They haven’t done this very often, intimacy all but gone from their marriage, but she has a job as a queen, and tonight, she’s going to let him do what he wants to her. More than that, she isn’t going to resist; she isn’t going to think about Takumi, or how different things are with him.

She’s going to live in the moment, with Xander.

As his mind moves up her thigh, he murmurs, “If you’re not comfortable tonight, we don’t have to do anything.”

“I’m comfortable,” she says, hoping that her voice doesn’t give her away.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “You know you never have to do anything you don’t want to with me. I know that I may have put a lot of pressure on you, but...there’s no need to rush anything.”

“I’m sure,” she breathes, leaning closer to him, as his hand slips higher. It’s not as if Xander isn’t handsome; it’s not as if she couldn’t enjoy this, if only she’d allow herself. When he presses his lips to hers, she returns his kiss, trying not to think about how she’s applying her experience with Takumi. Xander pulls her closer as he deepens the kiss, tangling his fingers in her hair.

With his body close to hers like this, she can feel how strong he is, and there is something reassuring about that. If she just relaxes and goes with this, she knows that she can trust him to take care of her, to make sure that everything is okay. He is her husband; this is all only natural.

When he breaks the kiss, he asks, somewhat breathlessly, “Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?”

“I...I don’t know…”

“Is there anything you think might feel good?”

Once again, she tries not to think about Takumi as she uses her experiences with him as a reference. This and that are entirely separate things, she tells herself. “Well, I...let me show you something,” she says softly. She remembers her initial fears, and how she didn’t want him to try to figure out where her knowledge of her body came from, and she hopes that he doesn’t question her. If she has to make up an excuse, she will simply say that she had a feeling that she would like this, and play innocent.

She lays back, and Xander shifts on top of her, letting her grab his hand and guide it under her gown. When she rests his hand on her breast, he gives it a hesitant squeeze, and she thinks that the way he blushes at the contact is surprisingly cute. “Like...like this?” he asks.

“Sort of,” she mumbles, and she describes exactly what it is she wants from him. It’s even more awkward to put into words with him than it was with Takumi; but, then, she isn’t supposed to think about Takumi at all right now.

Xander pinches one of her nipples lightly, and she lets out a gasp, and suddenly, it’s surprisingly easy to forget about everything else. For the first time, she lets herself relax around her husband, and she has to give herself over to pleasure. Slowly, Xander figures her out more and more, until he sits back up to help her out of gown completely, discarding it and leaning down, pressing his lips to one of her nipples while pinching the other, and Corrin whimpers, squirming underneath him.

He gives a soft chuckle, looking up at her under his lashes, and she wants to look away, but she finds that she can’t, keeping eye contact all the while. She realizes now that she wants him terribly, that it hurts, how badly she feels she needs him. It seems that she really can pull this off, and that just going along with things...it seems that that was all she needed.

Or perhaps it’s something more than that.

Once she’s opened herself up to him, actually letting Xander fuck her is a lot easier than before, and she wraps her legs around him as he eases inside of her. Every now and then, he asks her if she’s okay, if she likes it, and she can barely speak, she’s so breathless, but she gets the point across. He presses his lips to hers again and she leans up, into the kiss, and she doesn’t resist.

Xander seems surprised when she comes, holding her tight and gasping softly, and it’s only seconds later that he joins her. After that, he lays on top of her, supporting himself just enough that he isn’t too heavy; he’s just  _ warm _ and, she doesn’t mind him holding her like this at all, while he struggles to catch his breath. When he is able to speak again, he sits up, brushing some of her hair out of her face and saying, “I love you.”

“I...love you too,” she replies, and whether or not he believes her doesn’t matter, because it is her job to say that. Whether or not he means it when he says it doesn’t matter either. Nothing that happens between the two of them means anything. Everything she is doing, she is doing out of obligation.

She’s done her part, so she should feel better, but now, she only feels guilty, as if she’s betrayed Takumi.


	17. Chapter 17

For a few days after his encounter with Xander, Takumi can’t calm down. He can’t shake forget the things that the other man said, and can’t forget the initial fear he felt, the way he was certain that they had been found out. Though the encounter was mostly a pleasant one, he still fears, for himself and for Corrin, and is terrified that something they’ve done has tipped off her husband, that they’re already under suspicion.

Whatever the case, Xander is so polite to him that, if he is completely clueless, if he’s just nice for the sake of being nice, they need to call things off right now, the sooner the better. They can’t risk being caught, and this has opened his eyes to just how big of a risk they’re at right now. Not to mention the fact that a part of him feels guilty simply having Xander be that nice to him. It’s becoming easier to tell that, political marriage or not, Xander really does care for Corrin quite a bit. Takumi can’t help but feel bad for knowingly sleeping with another man’s wife, and that wife being his older sister is beside the fact.

He tells himself that this won’t go on any longer, that he has to be strong and that he’s almost ended it before. If anyone has the power to end it, it’s him; he just can’t spoil Corrin anymore. He can’t continue to give into her, because he knows what’s best, and he knows that she will never be willing to make that decision on her own. As hard as it is for him, he has to be strong, and be the one to take care of her, and do what’s best for everyone involved.

That’s what he tells himself, at least, but the next night she shows up at his door, he lets her in, and pulls her into his arms once the door is closed behind her.

~X~

While Corrin lays in her arms, trying to catch her breath, Takumi wonders if he should ask her what’s bothering. From the moment he first got a good look at her, it’s been easy to tell that there’s something off, but he isn’t sure what. Briefly, he’s afraid that it might have something to do with his conversation with Xander, but then he tells himself that that wouldn’t be the case. She would have lead into it with that, of course; she would have understood that that was the most important thing to discuss.

So if that isn’t it, then what is it? She’s not necessarily been  _ distant _ , just  _ off _ , in some way, that makes him think that there is something more on her mind, something that she just isn’t telling him. He holds her closer to his chest, and softly asks, “How are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” she replies, and that alone is enough to confirm his suspicions that there is something wrong. If there weren’t, she probably would have simply said “good”, or “alright”.

“Nothing,” he says, hesitating for a moment. If she’s feeling off, then perhaps she’s starting to lose interest. Perhaps this is the golden opportunity to tell her that they need to stop. If she’s not feeling herself, if she’s less enthusiastic than usual, then it might be easier to convince her to cut things off. He has to do it now, he tells himself, and he has every intention of telling her this when he opens his mouth, but yet again, he doesn’t do what he plans to.

“No, it’s not nothing, actually. I can tell that something’s bothering you, right, Corrin?” he says. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, I want to know.”

“It isn’t anything important,” she says, and it’s a wonder they’ve been able to keep their relationship a secret, considering how horrible of a liar he realizes she is.

“Is it Xander?”

“I…” She sighs, pulling herself closer to him. “I don’t know. I guess so. But it’s nothing that you need to worry about, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I get what you’re trying to say, but either way, it’s still something I’m going to worry about because it’s you,” he replies, and he knows that he’s being too nice to her, that he needs to back off and get rid of her, but he’s so far past that point now.

“Takumi…” There is a long, tense moment where Corrin doesn’t say anything, and when she finally does speak, she says, “Xander is very kind, isn’t he?”

Dread.

Takumi feels dread mixed with something else, something that he can’t identify. “He is,” he replies. “I’ve...spoken with him a few times, and he seems like a very kind man. He’s very suited for his role, I think.” But that isn’t what they’re discussing, and he knows it.

“He is,” she says softly, before sighing. “Takumi, I...I don’t want you to be mad at me. I’m really confused, so I don’t even know what I’m thinking  or what I’m trying to say, but I…”

“Do you love him?” he asks, his voice barely audible. Better to get it out there, he supposes.

“I don’t know. I-I think he loves me, and I know...I know that I care a lot about him,” she confesses. “I don’t know...please, I don’t want you to be mad at me, I just think…well, I don’t know what to think, really.”

Her words hurt, but they don’t hurt as much as he expects them to, and all he says to her is, “I think I understand, and I’m not mad at you.” He doesn’t let go of her, and he doesn’t ask her to explain herself further; he just lets her rest there with him, and hopes that she is able to sort out her thoughts, whether he is able to help her out with them or not.

Her words do not hurt as much as he expects them to, and he knows, already, why that is. He does believe that Xander is a kind and good man, one who not only deserves his place as king of Nohr, but one who deserves Corrin as his queen. They deserve each other, really, and a part of him already knew that they were falling in love with one another. A part of him already knows that they are better for each other, and that the best situation is for their marriage to be genuine on both sides, and for him to fade into the background.

He realizes now that he might more about her feelings and her happiness, and possibly about Xander’s feelings, than he does about his own, and that he sees their relationship as just as important to him as his own relationship with her. When he couples that with his understanding of how much more important that relationship is to Corrin’s safety, and how much better off she would be without him complicating things, he knows now, even more than before, that he has to break things off.

And still he is selfish, because he doesn’t know what to do, and doesn’t know how to let her go when he’s waited for her for so long.


	18. Chapter 18

Time passes by, and in that time, Corrin makes no attempt to change her situation. After her conversation with Takumi, she wonders if this is the time to break things off, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to; even though she knows that there’s something more now between her and Xander, her feelings for her brother persist, and the two don’t speak of their conversation again.

Though she knows that it isn’t right for her to try to hold onto both, she also doesn’t want to have to make a choice. After all, the choice makes itself. She can’t have a real relationship with Takumi, so she can’t actually choose him. No matter what, she’s already married to Xander, so to choose Takumi would be to try to break off a marriage with a king. To choose Xander would be to let go of Takumi all together, and, try as she might, she can’t bring herself to do it.

So they continue to see each other in secret, while she continues to warm up to her husband more and more, and no matter how guilty she feels, she gets better at hiding it, and looks every bit the happy queen.

~X~

Time passes by, until one day Xander comes to her and says that he has some good news for her. “You’ll get to see your older brother,” he tells her. “King Ryoma and I have discussed it several times since you came to live here, and we both agree that another marriage bonding the royal families would be good for relations.”

“So, he’s going to marry one of your sisters?” she asks.

“Hopefully,” replies Xander. “He is going to do things much the same way as I did, meeting with Camilla, Azura, and Elise, and, if everything goes well, end his visit with a proposal to one of them. If that happens, you’ll be accompanying me to Hoshido for the royal wedding. Are you excited?”

“I am,” she says simply, because that’s easier than trying to explain her current, complicated feelings regarding seeing the rest of her family while having an affair with Takumi, and wondering what it will be like for Ryoma to finally seek a bride.

“I’ll be telling my sisters later today,” he goes on to say. “They may come to you about it, since you know Ryoma much better than they do.”

~X~

As it turns out, Elise is the first to approach her about it, not long after Xander makes his announcement. “Can we talk about your older brother?” she asks.

“Of course,” replies Corrin. “Are you...hoping to catch his eye?”

“Was it that obvious?” She laughs. “I don’t know anything about trying to impress a king. I mean, there’s Xander, but he’s my big brother, I’ve known him for...forever! Plus, Hoshido is different. I don’t know anything about King Ryoma, or what he likes, or what it would be like...nothing!”

“Well, I’m happy to talk to you about anything you want,” Corrin says with a smile.

“I mean, you won over  _ my _ big brother, so maybe you have some tricks I could use!” Elise wears such an earnest expression while she says this that it’s hard not to laugh, though Corrin really doesn’t have any tricks to share with her. The more she thinks back on it, the more she remembers that, though she wanted to win over Xander, she wandered through everything completely blindly. She didn’t realize that anything she did was working until he proposed to her.

“Do you think you’re going to fall in love with Ryoma?” she asks absentmindedly, the question escaping before she has time to think it through.

“Did you fall in love with Xander?” Elise asks in return, and, judging by the way she blushes, it is partly out of curiosity, and partly to change the subject, to cover the fact that, regardless of how well she knows him, she’s already talked herself into a crush on the Hoshidan king.

But what is Corrin supposed to say to that? The proper answer is yes, she has, and there is a very big part of her now that does believe that, but it still feels like a betrayal to Takumi to admit that, even if she knows that she still loves him. But she says, “Yes, I did,” anyway, because it is the right thing to say, regardless of her feelings.

Elise is, naturally, excited by this and wants to gossip about both of their brothers for a while, and Corrin humors her, trying to escape her own thoughts in the process.

~X~

When Ryoma does come to visit, he spends his time with Camilla, Azura, and Elise in turn, but takes time with both Takumi and Corrin as well. It’s been so long since she’s seen her older brother that it feels like she’s become a completely different person. She tries to remember the way they spoke before, and present herself as if nothing has changed.

“Are you happy here?” Ryoma asks her, not long after he begins seeing her again, and she must have already failed at that.

“Of course I am.”

“Is Xander treating you well?”

“Very well.”

“Then what is it that’s bothering you, Corrin?” he asks, with that knowing, brotherly look in his eyes, and she wishes that she didn’t have to lie to him, to everyone, all the time. It’s been easy to forget how difficult it is to keep something like this a secret when they’re all family.

“I’m just worried about my new sisters,” she lies. “I hope that you like one of them enough to marry them, but I’m also worried about any of them having to move far away.”

“Is that...really all?”

“It really is.” Whether or not he believes her, he isn’t able to push the issue any further, and she manages to keep him on only one topic. As they discuss his potential brides, she does what she can to push his thoughts in Elise’s direction, figuring it’s the least she can do for the youngest princess.

~X~

In the end, her words must carry some weight with him, or perhaps Elise is just as charming as she hopes to be. Whatever the case, she is the one that Ryoma proposes to at the end of his visit, and all anyone can talk about once he’s returned to Hoshido is the upcoming royal wedding. Elise will be a queen, and she could not be more thrilled, and her family is excited for her. Corrin is excited for her, and Elise doesn’t seem to have any inner conflict about this marriage.

Things are so much simpler for her than they were for Corrin.

“We’ll be following her to Hoshido for the wedding,” Xander tells her. “Are you excited to get to visit the rest of your family? You’ll get to see your sisters, and your mother as well.”

Though she still thinks about how complicated things are, and how hard it is to keep things from her own family, she is excited to be back home, at least for a little while. Except Nohr is her home now, she reminds herself.

“I’m very excited to get to see them,” she says. “I’m excited for Elise, as well. I hope that she and Ryoma are very happy together.”

“As happy as we are?”

“Happier, even,” she can’t help but say.


	19. Chapter 19

Takumi knows that he will be expected to travel back to Hoshido for the royal wedding as well, but what he doesn’t expect is that he will be made to travel alongside Corrin and her husband. But Xander insists on it, always wanting to include Takumi when he can, and he seems wonderful oblivious to just how awkward all of this is. He still believes that Corrin needs him to cure her homesickness, and still thanks him, from time to time, for being such a positive force in her life.

Takumi honestly has no idea how they haven’t been found out by now.

Xander considers him to be a good friend, he knows, and, if he’s being completely honest, he respects Xander and would consider him to be a friend as well, if it weren’t for the glaring issue of the affair. If anything, he just feels more guilty with each passing day, knowing that he’s the reason Corrin can’t be entirely happy with Xander, and the reason that she has to lie to him and trick him into believing that everything is perfect.

When the three of them are together, and when he sees the two of them together, these thoughts are always heavy on his mind. If only he could just be good friends with the man his sister married, and  _ just _ be her younger brother, without anything else to complicate things. If only he didn’t love her in a way that he shouldn’t and if only they had never started this affair, and if only he could bring himself to break it off, but by now, he knows that that’s not nearly as easy as he wants to believe that it is.

He followed her to Nohr, and that is what doomed him, and if he has half a brain he will insist to remain in Hoshido at the end of this trip, but he already knows that that isn’t going to happen. Wherever Corrin goes, he will follow, just like a pet. Just like he did when they were children, and she always let him play with her, no matter what Hinoka said.

“I’ve spoken a bit to Corrin about this, but what about you, Takumi?” Xander asks, as if reading his mind. “Are you excited to get to see your family again? I know you got to speak with Ryoma a bit during his visit, but it’s been quite some time since you’ve seen your other sisters, or your mother.”

“Yes, it’s been so long,” he says absentmindedly, feeling guilty all over again because he’s barely thought about that. When he got to see Ryoma, it was all he could do to maintain his usual distant demeanor, talking only of his studies, and he hasn’t thought much about his mother or either of his sisters at all. His world revolves almost entirely around Corrin, he knows, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to change that.

Xander seems interested in hearing about their family life, and Corrin begins to oblige, telling stories from their childhood, and when Takumi sees the way the two of them can smile and laugh together, he truly wishes for their happiness. He wishes not only for Corrin’s, as he always has, but for Xander’s as well, and that continues to surprise him whenever he thinks about it.

Really, he’s nothing more than a third wheel. He only feels included now because, sometimes, he has something to contribute to the stories about their childhood, and even when he laughs with them, in the back of his mind he is still plagued with the same concerns. Perhaps the three of them could have been close like this if only things were different.

~X~

During the preparations for the wedding, Takumi doesn’t actually get to see much of any of his sisters, Corrin included, or his mother. They are all made to help Elise prepare, and learn what to expect. Ryoma takes advantage of the visit from Xander to discuss politics and whatnot, just as much himself as always despite the fact that he is the groom. The other Nohrian princesses stay with Elise as well, probably preparing themselves to say goodbye, and Leo...well, Leo takes to the Hoshidan libraries as if he doesn’t have plenty of time to study there.

He has decided to stay behind with Elise, at Xander’s suggestion. The king did say that he wanted to arrange a trip to Hoshido for Leo, and because he believes Takumi’s presence helped Corrin adjust to her new life, he believes that Elise needs to have some of her family there as well. Ryoma welcomes the Nohrian prince with open arms, glad to do what he can for his queen’s comfort, and always willing to show just how good relations have become.

There are times when Takumi considers joining him, possibly to give him some tips on where the really good stuff is, but he keeps to himself instead. Everyone is busy with something, except for him, and so he hides away. There will be no chances for him to be with Corrin, as she and Xander will be staying together, and he will have nothing to keep her away from him at night. That’s for the best, and he knows that, but when he’s back in his old room, he remembers that first night, and every night after, and he misses her.

_ I’m really never going to get over this, am I? _ he asks himself, and of course he already knows the answer. All these years, and he could never get over her, and now that he’s actually had her, he knows that it’s impossible. If he can ever bring himself to let her go, he will still be hung up on her, and nothing will ever change that. But the problem is that he doubts that he will be able to muster up the strength he needs to push her away before it ends in a disaster.

Perhaps when they return to Nohr, he will do something about it.

~X~

The wedding between his older brother and Xander’s youngest sister is a happy occasion for both families, and Elise looks absolutely overjoyed, nothing like the way Corrin had to force smiles at her own wedding. It would be nice, and Takumi knows that it should be nice, but all the while, he thinks about how he has to end things when he returns to Nohr.

He’s getting really tired of all the empty promises he makes to himself.


	20. Chapter 20

Corrin knows that she’s been nothing but selfish for months now- that much is obvious. But on her trip to Hoshido, she begins to find it hard to feel guilty about her selfishness, and she doesn’t know why. Perhaps her attempts to act happy with her life have fooled even her, and she is able to be content and enjoy what is, for the most part, a vacation.

Even when she is alone with both Xander and Takumi, she just enjoys being able to talk to them both. In the back of her mind, she worries about either of them letting something slip, but for the most part, she just enjoys herself.

Helping Elise get ready for her wedding, getting to be with both her sisters and her sisters-in-law is fun, and the differences between both families lead to a lot of interesting conversations. She supposes that things must have been like that when she got married, but she was so lost in her own feelings that she barely remembers anything but dread. This wedding is an entirely different experience.

At night, Xander has nothing to keep him away from her, and though she can’t see Takumi, her husband does a very good job distracting her. It’s especially hard to remember her guilt when he has her pinned down, trailing kisses over every exposed inch of skin, growing more affectionate toward her with every passing day. Their clumsy start makes him seem like an entirely different man by now, and Corrin always loses herself in their encounters.

Every second he has to spend with her, he seems interested in only one thing, and she finds that she wants to indulge him, now that she knows what it can be like if she just goes with things and enjoys herself. She’s fallen for him, that much she knows, but when he has her in his arms, she forgets that she is supposed to feel guilty about that too often.

“At times like this, I’m reminded of our own marriage,” he tells her in a soft voice one night, nipping at her ear. “I want to wonder if they will get off to as rough of a start as we did, but then, I’m talking about my sister, and your brother. I don’t really want to think that much about it, or I might end up planning to kill Ryoma.”

“A protective older brother, hm?” she teases, but for a moment, she feels a flash of guilt, remembering that it is normal for siblings to not know intimate details about one another. She usually avoids such feelings by pushing them out of her mind completely, which is what she does now.

“You must know by now that I would do anything to protect my family,” he replies. “And that includes you, of course. Though I suppose by now your family  _ is _ my family. We’re bound by two marriages so far.”

He doesn’t talk much more about Ryoma or Elise, as he turns his focus entirely to Corrin, kissing down her neck and fondling her breasts, and Corrin doesn’t spare either of their siblings any further thought. For the most part, at least.

~X~

The nights spent with Xander are long and they get up later each morning, and he always brushes that off, saying that he deserves a vacation every now and then. Some mornings he catches Corrin before she can get out of bed, requesting that he spend just a little more quality time with her before they have to face their families, and she really loves Xander when he’s free from his royal responsibilities.

“Just a few more minutes,” he insists, holding her from behind and groping her softly, playing absentmindedly with one of her nipples until she melts into his touch. Sometimes, it really does only take them a few minutes, whereas other times he manages to drag it out quite a bit, seeming to relish every second with her. This is, perhaps, what they were supposed to experience during their supposed “honeymoon” phase. If she had loved him back then, and not been afraid to show her what she wanted, at least.

But if she had known what she’d wanted at all, she would have had to have experience, and she doubts that she ever would have gone that far with anyone but Takumi.

It really is impossible to completely forget about him.

~X~

Their trip lasts a bit longer after the wedding, but Xander does still have some business to attend to with Ryoma. However, Corrin is not kept busy with her sisters, and that is when she finally stops resisting the urge to see Takumi. They can’t spend nights together, and they know not to take any unnecessary risks like that in the broad daylight, but sometimes they walk together through the gardens, just talking. Nothing out of the ordinary for a brother and sister.

Their conversations are nothing out of the ordinary, either. They talk about how they’ve occupied their time in Hoshido, with Corrin sharing stories about Elise’s bridal preparations and Takumi...mostly just responding to that. She gets the feeling that he hasn’t been up to much, but she doesn’t want to accuse him of doing absolutely nothing just because they haven’t been able to see each other as much. Still, she can tell that he hasn’t been doing well lately, and she’s worried about him.

Finally, during the time they spend together over the last few days they have in Hoshido, she begins to feel guilty again. While she’s been enjoying her vacation with Xander, something has been bothering Takumi, and she is almost certain that it’s because of her. It’s because she is being selfish and holding onto both of them, and because she can’t bring herself to tell him that they shouldn’t do this anymore.

He could have at least tried to move on from her by now, and maybe he would have even been able to find someone, but she is selfish, and she keeps him all to herself. She still loves him, even though she loves Xander as well, and she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her that she can’t just be happy being married to a king, and one who loves her and treats her so well at that. She doesn’t know why she can’t do what she knows has to be best for both her and Takumi.

If she really loved him, she would want him to be happy, and like this, she is just hurting him.

It is while she is thinking about this, while the two of them are walking, that she absentmindedly reaches for his hand, taking it in hers. It is far too much of a risk, but Takumi grips her hand back, and neither of them let go. This is the closest they’ve been able to be in some time; neither want to let go just yet.

When they hear footsteps behind them, Corrin quickly drops her brother’s hand, praying that whoever it is isn’t close enough to tell what they were doing, but when the person behind them speaks, the voice is very close, and very familiar.

She turns to see her husband, as he says, “I thought you wanted to oversee the packing. We leave for Nohr tomorrow, and your things are going to be packed soon.”

He had to have seen them. She knows that he had to have seen them, but no matter how she searches his face, she can find no answers there, and she doesn’t say a word, only nods and follows him back to their room. There are servants, and the two of them watch them work, but even when they leave, even when she and Xander are alone, he doesn’t say anything about it.

They return to Nohr, and still, he doesn’t say a thing.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're finally getting to the point i wanted to get to so maybe everyone can stop wondering who she goN FUCk

Takumi’s panic never fully subsides after Xander catches him hand-in-hand with Corrin. The other man never says a word about it, but when they travel back, he makes his excuses to keep away from them, not sure if he can handle the tension that he’s sure will be thick enough to cut through. Anything to avoid being near them, anything to avoid facing Xander now that he must know everything.

Well, maybe he doesn’t know everything, but he must suspect now, and he must just be waiting for the right moment to confront them and execute them and disgrace the Hoshidan royal family and go to war, and do any other manner of horrible things to punish them for their affair.

They return to Nohr, and Xander resumes his royal duties and Corrin goes back to whatever it is she does when she isn’t with Takumi, and Takumi keeps to the library or practices archery, always reading or training to keep his mind off of things. He waits for a confrontation that never comes, and he has no contact with Corrin, so he has no idea what is going on on her end.

Time passes and days go by, and nothing changes, but his worries do not subside. He wants very desperately to ask Corrin what her husband said to her after the fact, and he wants very desperately just to be with Corrin for a bit, because he knows that if anyone could comfort him, if only for a moment, it would be her. But that’s out of the question now, and even if he wanted to continue their affair, there is no way he can now.

All he can do is try to distract himself and continue to wait for the punishment that still doesn’t come.

~X~

Xander carries on life as usual, or, at least, he tries his best, but Corrin makes it difficult, with how stiff and afraid she becomes after they return from Hoshido. He wonders, sometimes, if he’s mistaken when he thinks about what he saw there, but there isn’t much else he could have mistaken it for. Corrin was walking with her hand in her brother’s, and the two of them looked so happy.

She looked happy in a way that is only just now becoming familiar to him, and he wonders. Corrin looked carefree, and he wonders what it is about Takumi that makes her smile like that. When they first met, she looked serious all the time, and it took him some time to bring out that side in her, and though he can still believe that she is just close to her brother, as siblings should be, and that is all there is to it, now he can’t help but  _ wonder _ .

If it weren’t for how guilty they seemed, maybe he could continue to convince himself that the two of them were just close, but no closer than they should be. It is a little hard to believe that either of them would do something like that, but what else is there to believe now?

Something has to be up between the two of them, whether he is able to believe it or not. As strange as it seems, and as much as he doesn’t want to believe that they would do it, he has to wonder now if there is a romantic, perhaps even sexual, relationship between the Hoshidan siblings. Takumi’s behavior, and his supposed distance while actually caring about Corrin very much, would make a lot more sense then. Corrin’s distance, the way she always seemed like there was something else on her mind, would as well.

There were times when he wondered if her feelings for him, and how long it took her to warm up to him, were indicative that someone else had her heart, but the way she behaved when they first met in Hoshido did nothing to suggest that. Or, perhaps she did a better job hiding it when trying to win him over. Perhaps she was already involved with Takumi then, or perhaps it was only a recent development. It would be hard for him to pinpoint when it began without one of them to confirm it.

And Xander has wondered about Takumi, and if he had any interest in marriage, and even wondered if a Nohrian woman might catch his eye. Though he didn’t think much of it when Takumi continued to remain uninterested, thinking it was just because he was so dedicated to his studies, now he wonders if Takumi has always had someone he had his eye on. All of this could just be Xander looking too deep into things, but he saw them holding hands, and he feels like something has begun to click into place.

If it is true, that brings up a new question. What is he going to do about it? If his wife, if his queen, is having an affair…if she’s having that affair with her own brother...what is he going to do about it? He knows what he is supposed to do; he knows that, regardless of who she is having an affair with, Corrin is supposed to be punished, and severely. Though he can hardly imagine himself doing it, he’s had plenty of history lessons and heard of people being executed for such things in the past. If he were to go public about it, and tell the people that she has been disloyal to him, and that she is sleeping with her own brother, he doubts anyone would bat an eye, should he decide to take both her life and Takumi’s as punishment. As for Hoshido...if they were to disagree with his decision, it’s likely that the majority of Nohrians would believe that a war was justified.

But as for what Xander wants to do...when he imagines the while she smiles at Takumi, and the way she smiles at him now, all he can think about is how happy he is to see her happy. It took him so long to get her to brighten up like that, and if part of that was simply because he gave her the okay to spend more time with her brother, than could he really say that it’s wrong?

Of course, he  _ knows _ that it’s wrong, and that he should be hurt. He is hurt, really, but he doesn’t want anything to change. Things are so much better now than they were before, and and his sisters love Corrin, and the people think she is a suitable bride for him, and he respects Takumi so much.

Xander doesn’t want anything to change, and he doesn’t want to do anything to make Corrin unhappy. It’s been some time since he realized that he was falling in love with her, but now he knows just how bad he has it. If her happiness is at stake, then he has no intention of acting on what he saw.


	22. Chapter 22

Corrin can’t help but be distant with her husband, even though she knows that now should be the time she plays things up. He hasn’t said a word to her about Takumi, and, after a tense and quiet trip to Nohr, quickly began acting as he always does. For whatever reason, he’s given her a chance to recover from that incident, because she knows there is no way he didn’t see.

She doesn’t know why he is giving her a chance to recover, but she knows that she is supposed to take it, and even so, she can’t help but be distant with him. Whenever they are alone together, though he is not as physically affectionate, he still makes conversation with her, and she can barely bring herself to look him in the eye.

He has to know, or he at least has to suspect, and yet he is behaving as if he doesn’t. She doesn’t know why Xander would do something like that, but she can’t ask him, and she can’t go to see Takumi, no matter how much she may want to.  
All she can do is hope that he’s doing okay, but she wishes that she could reassure him in some way. The jig isn’t up, so to speak, but this is their chance to end things, and get away with it.

So she keeps away from her brother, not even going out of her way to cross paths with him, not even to catch a glimpse of him. Even if she can’t bring herself to behave as usual with Xander, unable to match his efforts, she doesn’t contact Takumi at all, at the very least.

And then one night, Xander confronts her.  
“You haven’t seemed like yourself since we returned from Hoshido,” he comments, and she goes cold.

“I’m...sorry,” she says lamely, because that’s all that she can think of.

“Are you feeling homesick again?” he asks with a gentle smile. “I know you were happy to see your family again, but maybe coming back here was a little more difficult?”

“Homesick?”

“It just reminds me of when you first moved here,” he explains. “I thought that might be what has you feeling down.”

“I...guess.” Now is her chance; she just has to lie to him and say that she misses her mother, that she misses her sisters and her older brother, even that she misses Elise. All she has to do is go along with what he says, and work on acting more like herself, and then it will all be over. That’s all she has to do, and she still hesitates.

“You haven’t spent much time with your brother lately, have you?” Still, he smiles, so gently and cluelessly. “If you’re feeling homesick, maybe Takumi can help you feel better.”

Xander knows. She knows that he knows, and now he’s smiling at her like it’s nothing, _suggesting_ that she spend more time with Takumi. Is he trying to tempt her into getting caught? Has he been playing nice all this time to try to trick her, so that he can get some definitive evidence that she’s having an affair? If that’s what he’s after, she doesn’t want to play that sort of game; she’d rather get it over with now.

“How can you say that?” she asks quietly, so quietly that it’s barely audible, though that wasn’t her intention.

“What was that, Corrin?”

“How could you _say_ that?!” she repeats.

“What do you mean? I don’t really understand what you’re going through, but I know that it must be hard, and he helped before.”

“Stop it,” she says, and realizes that she is near tears. “Just...stop pretending, please. Do whatever you have to to me, but please stop pretending that you don’t… _know_.”

A stern look crosses Xander’s face, and Corrin is sure that he is finally going to tell her off, that he is finally going to reveal to her just how much trouble she is in. And then he speaks, and all he says is, “I’ve only been pretending because it was easier for me, and I thought it would be easier for you as well.”

“Easier? I don’t understand why you would...why you would think that.”

“Corrin…” He sighs, and his stern expression falls away again. “Can you please answer me honestly? Just...what I’m about to ask you, can you answer as if you had nothing to worry about?”

She wants to ask if that means that she _does_ have something to worry about, but then, that’s a stupid question. “Yes,” she says, “I will.”

“Have you...do you...have a relationship with Takumi? A romantic, or even sexual relationship?”

It’s almost a relief, to hear him say it out loud, and confirm that he is aware just how far their feelings go. Even knowing that she is caught, which is what she hoped to avoid, she is still partially relieved, no matter how strange that it. Finally, she softly says, “Yes. I...I am. But please, don’t...you can do whatever you want to me, but it was all me, he wanted to end things when I came here, but I kept going to see him, so if you’re going to blame anyone-”

“Do what you must to be happy,” Xander interrupts her, and she does not understand the meaning of his words. Or, rather, she has a good understanding of what his words could mean, but she doesn’t understand why he would say something like that, and so she doesn’t understand what he’s saying.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say to him, but there is nothing. After a moment of silence, Xander says, “I know you were expecting more of a punishment. Honestly, I know that I should do more to punish you. I should probably hate you, but...I don’t. You’ve softened me up too much, I suppose, but...I love you, Corrin. I love you, and I’ve come to love seeing how happy you can be. If it’s Takumi that makes you that happy, then, as long as you can keep it a secret...I won’t intervene.”

“You don’t mean that,” she breathes, because how could she possibly believe him? She knows Xander, and though she knows that he is kind, she can’t possibly believe that he would stand aside for something like this, in his position. “You must be trying to trick me...just do what you have to do to me, alright?”

“I’m not trying to trick you,” he insists, and his face goes stern again. “I understand why you don’t believe me...I know how crazy it all sounds! But I do love you, and there were times where I thought you loved me as well-”

“Because I do!” she interjects. She doesn’t do so because she thinks it will help her in any way; she just does, because she wants him to know that that wasn’t a lie.

“But you love him as well,” he says. “You don’t have to deny it, or even apologize for it. It hurts, but it is what it is. If you love him, regardless of who he is, I don’t want to stand in the way of that, and if you love me, all I ask is that you do what you must to be happy.”

“Xander...I don’t get it...how can you expect me to believe any of this?” Corrin desperately wants to believe it, but it’s all too good to be true, she thinks.

And then Xander does something unthinkable. Xander, the king of Nohr, her husband and a man more powerful than she could ever hope to be, bows before her. He does not stop there, either; he gets lower, and lower, until he is on his hands and knees before her, lowering himself to show his sincerity. “If this isn’t enough to get you to believe me, then please tell me what will be enough.”

“Stand up,” she whispers, her voice threatening to break as she fights back tears. She can’t make sense of what he’s saying, and she can’t understand why he would, but if he’s going this far to convince her, then she has no choice but to accept it.

“I will, but only if you promise that you trust me now,” he replies.

“I promise.”

As Xander stands, he offers her a smile and says, “It will still be difficult for me to adjust to, but I hope you understand how serious I am now.”

“I do.”

“Now...maybe not right this second, but don’t you think you need to talk with your brother soon?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk


	23. Chapter 23

Takumi tries not to get his hopes up when he hears a knock at his door. Though he doesn’t know who would be visiting him right now, he knows better to expect Corrin, even if she always was the only one to show up unannounced like that. They aren’t going to be seeing much of one another anymore, and he knows that; with his luck, it’s someone finally coming to take him away because they know what happened between them.

He rises and heads over to open the door, not sure what to expect on the other side, and prepared for the worst. That is what makes it all the more surprising when to see Corrin standing there.

Within seconds, he has her in his room, the door closed behind them, both out of habit and because he doesn’t want anyone to see her there. “What do you think you’re doing?” he hisses, trying to ignore the part of him that is overjoyed to see her.

“It’s okay,” she says, pulling him into an embrace that he can’t bring himself to shrug off. “It’s okay, Takumi. I had to see you, and...it’s okay.”

“There’s nothing okay about this,” he argues. “You shouldn’t be here, you know what this could do, you know...you know…” She looks up at him as he speaks, and when he sees the look on her face, he trails off. He doesn’t know what it is that she’s going to say, but he knows that whatever it is, it’s serious, and he needs to just listen.

“Xander knows,” she says, and he doesn’t know why she says it with that same look on her face, like she’s trying to assure him that there’s nothing to worry about. This is exactly the thing they feared, isn’t it?

“You didn’t have to tell  _ me _ that, it was pretty obvious when we-”

“He knows, but he isn’t going to do anything about it,” she continues.

“He...what?” Takumi blinks, stepping back a bit from her embrace. “What are you talking about? Of course he would want to do something about it, you’re his wife, and I’m your...your...of course he’s going to do something about it!”

Shaking her head, she says, “But he isn’t, Takumi. I swear to you, he isn’t going to do anything about it.”

“So, then, he must be forgiving it just that once, right?” None of this makes any sense to him, and he tries to come up with some sort of meaning behind it that isn’t confusing. “Does he know how long it’s been going on? Should you be here right now?”

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong,” she says. “He knows that it’s still going on, and he told me...he told me to do what I had to. To be happy, I mean.”

Now Takumi has to wonder if he’s dreaming this. Lately, he’s had a lot of really bad dreams about possible outcomes of this debacle, and it seems odd that he’d be dreaming of his ideal outcome now, but that is the only way that something like this seems possible to him. He can’t even respond to her, he is so thrown by what she is saying, and he just stares at her in confusion until she continues.

“Xander told me to come see you,” she says. “He told me that I needed to talk to you, and that if being with you made me happy, then I should do it.”

“It’s got to be a trick then. He wants someone else to catch us together, or he wants proof, or-”

“I thought the same thing, at first, but he...Takumi, he got down on his hands and knees in front of me,” Corrin says, taking his hands and squeezing them. “I didn’t want to believe him, but when he did that, I had to.”

“He...he did?” Reflexively, he squeezes her hands back.

“He did,” she says. “Please, I’ve missed you so much. Can’t you hold me for a little while?”

~X~

Corrin ends up spending the night with him, and all he does is hold her. Though he’s missed other aspects of their relationship, just having her with him for a night is wonderful. She explains more of what he said, and talks about her feelings for Xander as well. The relationship between the three of them is not simple by any means, but Takumi is just grateful to be able to have Corrin in his arms again.

But he knows that he will have to talk to Xander for himself, and he requests a chance to talk with him. Though it is often hard to get a chance like that, Xander is quick to respond, and Takumi is granted audience with him after only a few days.

“I suppose you want to talk about my conversation with your sister,” Xander says, not wasting any time. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

“She said you were sincere, so I have to believe that you meant what you said,” Takumi replies. “It’s hard to believe, but if Corrin trusts you...I trust you as well. And I want to ask why, but…”

“You’re afraid to question it?”

“Exactly.”

“It’s because I love her,” he replies, so simply that it is hard to believe that this is the same man who rules all of Nohr. “I love her, and I know that you do too. You make her happy, and that’s good enough for me. I know that that’s strange, and I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do, and I don’t think that’s going to change. What’s more, I’ve talked to you a lot, Takumi, and I respect you so much.”

“That’s an odd but flattering thing for you to say,” he replies, and Xander gives a hint of a smile. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Do your best to keep things discreet, and I will do so as well. We know a thing or two about keeping secrets in my family,” Xander says vaguely. “Please, take care of my wife, when she’s with you.”

“And take care of my sister when she’s with you,” he says. “Thank you...for accepting this.”

“Thank you as well,” the other man says, but Takumi isn’t sure what he has to thank him for. Their lives are in his hands, after all. He also doesn’t know what Xander means about their family and keeping secrets, but he decides not to pry, knowing that he’s lucky enough to have Xander turn a blind eye.

He really does respect him so much, and not just because he is a good ruler. There is something admirable about him that has nothing to do with that, and Takumi doesn’t know how to express it. Though it’s a weird thing to think, he thinks that if there were anyone in the world he would want to share a lover with, Xander is a pretty good choice.

But he doesn’t want to waste too much of his time with this, so he thanks him again and their meeting comes to an end. From that point on, he and Corrin fall into a pattern that is similar to before, with secret meetings, and time apart, but there is less fear and less tension than before.

He really is so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are chugging along and finally almost done with this. I've got one more lewd bit planned, and then some final plot things, tie everything off but leaving room for me to potentially expand in the future, though no promises on that cos I have a lot on my writing plate over the next few months, and the last time i promised something in this story, it took me like seven months to update


	24. Chapter 24

After Takumi recaps his conversation with Xander, Corrin is even more sure of his sincerity, and as they rediscover their familiar patterns, she has a sense of comfort like she’s never known before. Though there is still some nagging sense that things are not ideal, she tries not to dwell on what might not be perfect, because she is so fortunate to have what she does.

And whatever it is that feels off, she knows is only because she will miss one while she is with the other. No matter how happy she is with one, she wishes that the other would not have to be left out. Thinking those feelings weird, she tries to push them out of her mind and simply live in the moment.

One thing that Takumi tells her weighs on her mind for some time, and she eventually can’t shake her curiosity any longer. “What sort of secrets are you keeping?” she asks, before she realizes just how vague that sounds.

“Secrets?” he asks, raising a brow. “What do you mean by that? Do you think I’m hiding something from you?”

“Oh, no, it isn’t that!” she says quickly. “Sorry, I should have explained it better than that...Takumi mentioned that you said something about your family keeping secrets? I’m sorry if that’s not something I’m supposed to ask about, but I haven’t been able to stop wondering about it.”

“Oh, that. Well, I suppose since you’re a part of the family, you were going to find out sooner or later,” he replies. “It’s a secret that only my siblings and I know, involving one of us. When Ryoma came looking for a bride, I promised Camilla that she would be allowed to refuse, if he took an interest in her, and I think we were all glad that he was more interested in Elise.”

“Is she...involved with someone else?” Corrin asks.

“Two someones. Come to think of it, it might not be that different from yourself,” he says, cracking a smile.

“Two?” Her eyes widen as she realizes what he’s saying, and, though she’s found herself in a similar situation, she still wonders about how someone can reach that point, where they’re able to admit that they have feelings for more than one person.

“You’ve met her retainers in passing, haven’t you? Selena and Beruka?”

Though she didn’t remember their names, Corrin has met both of the women who serve Camilla directly. She nods, and says, “So, they’re…?”

“Very much involved,” he answers with a nod. “We do everything we can to keep the information from getting out.”

It’s a lot for Corrin to process, especially since it’s two women that Camilla is in love with. She knows that it’s not completely unheard of, but it’s still considered taboo, and she knows that it could mean ruin for the royal family if Camilla were to be open about her preferences. “What about the two of them? Are they happy to share her?”

“From what I understand, they are just as in love with one another as they are her, but I try not to pry too much.”

Everything about this relationship seems strange and foreign to her, even though she is, of course, involved with two men at the same time. Still, it sounds pleasant, to be able to all by happy together, for everyone to share, to not have to be separate, and for there to be no choices to be made.

She swears to keep the secret as well, but she isn’t able to stop thinking about it after the fact.

~X~

“I had to tell your brother that Takumi is entirely too focused on his studies to look for a bride right now,” Xander tells her on another occasion.

“Ryoma? Did you hear from him?”

“Yes, I did. He thought that Takumi might be interested in looking for a Nohrian bride, but I did what I could to cover for him,” he replies. “Either way, he thinks there is going to be another royal wedding soon.”

“Another wedding? Is it...Leo?”

“Exactly. Apparently, while our younger sisters have bonded quite a bit since Elise moved to Hoshido, Sakura has also bonded with Leo. Ryoma has his suspicions, and will give his blessing if Leo comes to him,” he replies. “Seems our families just keep linking up. Relations between our nations are better than ever.”

“Sakura’s going to get married?” Corrin smiles to herself, having a hard time imagining it. She remembers how terrified Sakura was at the prospect of meeting Xander, and wonders how much has changed in her absence. “I hope she and Leo really are happy together.”

“I’ll have to talk with Takumi about this,” he says. “I hope Ryoma doesn’t think it’s strange that he’s not interested in marriage right now.”

“He never has been before,” Corrin says, before blushing, “but, then...I guess that makes sense, huh? Thank you for handling things, though.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want Takumi to be forced into anything, so I’ll do whatever I can to keep things from getting more complicated than they are,” Xander says.

~X~

When Corrin is alone, she thinks about Camilla, and the two women that serve her, and their supposed relationship. If Xander says that it’s true, then she knows that it must be, but it still seems so strange to her. More than that, it makes her curious about what it must be like to be on equal ground like that, and she finds herself wishing that it could be like that with her.

That’s when it all starts to click into place for her, and when she really understands what’s been bothering her whenever she’s alone with either of them. She doesn’t know how it would work, or if Xander or Takumi could ever really be like that, but she wonders what it would be like to share more equally. Whenever the three of them spent time together, it felt natural, and she just wonders what it would be like.

~X~

The news of Leo’s proposal to Sakura eventually comes, with Xander knowing ahead of time that he's planning to do it, though he keeps it to himself until the news is official. Once this is done, another royal wedding is put into the planning stages, and the Hoshidan family will visit Nohr once again to make things official. That is still a ways away, but Corrin is excited to see her family again.

She knows that her relationship is just as much of a secret as it's always been, but with Xander in their corner, she feels less guilty, somehow, and won't let that guilt get in the way of enjoying a visit from her brother and her sisters and her mother, and her brother’s bride and her sister’s groom. For this wedding, she’ll feel like more of a part of things, and won't have to pretend to be happy and carefree.

Things are finally starting to feel like they're falling into place, but she still has something on her mind that she hopes to bring up soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEAVY BREATHING  
> we almost THERE all the SIDE SHIPS ARE DONE WE'RE ALMOST THERe


	25. Chapter 25

After taking some time to hype herself up for it, Corrin finally requests that all three of them be alone together soon, so that she can make her suggestion. A part of her thinks that Xander might suspect that being on her mind already, but if he does, he doesn’t say anything, and both he and Takumi give her the chance to speak, as she tells them everything that’s on her mind.

She tells them about how she sees them interact, and about how she feels whenever she is only with one of them, and how she thinks she would feel if they could all be together more often. “I know it’s not always going to be realistic,” she says. “I know that Xander is busy, and I know that we can’t arouse suspicion, and that you two might not want that all the time. But...but I would really like to spend more equal time together!”

That is how the discussion starts, and it is meant with enthusiasm, which she is grateful for, but even that does not make it as easy to suggest what else she has on her mind. She thinks back to her first night with Takumi, and how strange and awkward it was, and how much she’s changed since then, and she can’t believe that she’s become the kind of person who would suggest something like this, but here she is.

“I’d like to be with both of you at the same time,” she says. “I mean, really... _ be _ with you? I’d like it if we could get closer?” Corrin quickly finds that she does not know how best to go about phrasing it, but judging from the way both men go red, she doesn’t actually need to go into further detail.

~X~

They warm up to one another quicker than expected, at the very least. She knows that it is on her to make sure that things aren’t too strange, but she finds herself so shy with the both of them that it’s like the first time all over again- and in a way, it kind of is. But it is Takumi who makes the first move, mumbling, “Alright, so how are we actually going to do this, now that we’re all…?”

And it is Xander who starts to break the ice by simply asking, “Well, do you have any suggestions?” with a hint of a smirk.

“Maybe I do! I dunno, it’s not like I sit around thinking about this all the time,” he mutters, and it’s nice to see him get a little more spirited around the other man, to see more of his attitude start to come out.

“I’ve thought about it,” Corrin admits. “I don’t know how it’ll actually work out, but I do know something we can try.” Explaining it is another thing entirely, but she manages to get the point across, all while blushing furiously. She’s too far gone now to back off, so the only option is to go full speed ahead.

There is not much debate about who takes what place; already, things feel natural, and Takumi takes his pace behind Corrin while she kneels before Xander, who rests a hand on her head, and smiles down at her, almost reassuringly, but there’s nothing to reassure now. She doubts that she could feel more comfortable than she does between the two of them.

“You ready?” she hears Takumi ask, and she turns back for a moment to smile at him and nod. He nods as well, holding onto her hips, pressing up against her, and slowly beginning to ease in. She looks back up at Xander, but feels suddenly shy, knowing that he’s watching her like this, but then, when she meets his eyes, and sees the way he’s staring, she doesn’t look away.

Takumi hesitates for a moment once he’s buried inside of her, before he begins slow, gentle thrusts. That is when it’s Corrin’s turn to ask Xander if he’s ready, and when he nods, blushing a bit, she tilts her head up a bit, wrapping her lips around the head of his cock. She can’t maintain eye contact like this, so she closes her eyes while she takes him deeper in her mouth.

He gives a soft sigh, and she can hear Takumi’s labored breath behind her. It takes effort for her to concentrate on pleasuring Xander while Takumi begins to pick up the pace behind her. His grip on her hips tightens, and Xander tangles his fingers in her hair, tugging subconsciously, and she opens her eyes then, looking up at Xander, and then back at Takumi.

There’s no doubt that the two are looking at each other, maintaining eye contact, and she knows, somehow, that this is all going to work out just fine.

~X~

Takumi helps in preparing to receive his family for the upcoming wedding. Though Leo and Sakura will be married in Nohr, they will return to the Hoshido with the others, so that Leo can continue keeping an eye on Elise. It’s been some time since Takumi has seen his family, but it feels like even longer, with all that has changed since their visit to Hoshido for Ryoma’s wedding.

“You can return to Hoshido with us, if you’d like,” Ryoma says to him. “From what I understand, Corrin is doing well here, and is happier than ever. I suppose Xander is taking pretty good care of her.”

“I don’t know about that,” Takumi says quickly, before correcting himself. “About me going back, I mean. I agree that Corrin seems happier, and I think Xander is taking very good care of her. I just don’t think I’m ready to go back to Hoshido, I’m learning a lot here.”

“Is that the only reason?” Ryoma asks, and Takumi knows better than to try to lie.

“There might be someone worth staying for,” he says vaguely, trying to seem a little cooler than usual, hoping that it’s enough to convince his brother without having to tell the whole truth.

“Oh? A woman?” Now, his older brother looks amused, and Takumi tries to look sheepish, which isn’t that hard, considering he is rather nervous.

“Possibly.”

“Don’t start any scandals just because I’m not around,” he warns. “Especially if it’s one of those princesses. If you’re going to do something, just make sure you do it right.”

It will probably never get easier to lie to his family about this, but when he’s been given such an opportunity to carry on with less risk of discovery, when he’s as lucky as he’s been, he knows that there are some drawbacks that he will have to put up with. He is happy with what he has, even if it can never be perfect, and even if he will always have to lie.

“I promise, I won’t,” he lies. It may not be easier on his conscious, but he is still becoming more convincing.

~X~

Xander never thought that his life would turn out like this. He always knew that he would be married for political purposes, and never dared to hope that he would find love that way. What’s more, he certainly never thought that there would be another man, and that he would accept that other man, who also happened to be his wife’s younger brother, and that the three of them would be happiest together.

There are complications that he never dreamed of, and feelings that he never expected, but he never thought that he would be this happy. He is a king and he has the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders, but in his private moments, he can be happy, regardless of how strange the circumstances that bring him happiness are. There are still things that he has to figure out and feelings that he has to come to understand, but he is sure that that will all happen in time.

Just so long as the three of them are never found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over!!! Thank you for those of you who have stuck it out until the end, and I hope to someday revisit this story with my sequel, false love in nohr, but I won't make promises about it as life continues to get more hectic every day. however, if I do write it, expect Camilla to play a bigger role, and maybe Corrin will actually have a kid lmao


End file.
